God please help me, thank You.

You know, right now I'm feeling so helpless again. Quite. Like that something that's digging into me, that is searching for something. Don't know how to put it into words, but its that digging feeling inside again. I wish my friends could read this that somehow they could help me in my spiritual life. Everybody's so busy nowadays. Thank God for all the time that we still have, especially the meals I've been having with Dot, Shu, Nat, Hui'en, Ryan, etc these couple of days.

Most importantly, I want to thank God for having helped me over one big hurdle in school. I've played for brass platform and it was ok!! =) The few days before that were very not ok, particularly health-wise. But through it all, God was always there for me and giving me constant reminders. Thank God indeed for music and songs, another way of reminder.

This particular song has been accompanying me these few days, and its really really meaningful. Sang it during Praise and Worship on Sunday's service(25 September 2005). Really thank God for everything. =)

上帝的儿女何等有福

在压力中，仍能平静
在忙碌中，仍能悠闲
在失败中，仍能欢笑
在逼迫中，仍能屹立
上帝的儿女何等有福

有福，有福
上帝的儿女何等有福
有福，有福
上帝的儿女何等有福

在绝望中，仍有盼望
在冷漠中，仍有关怀
在困境中，仍有出路
在死亡中，仍有生命
上帝的儿女何等有福

有福，有福
上帝的儿女何等有福
有福，有福
上帝的儿女何等有福

Another reason why I really hope my friends can read this is that, somehow I just constantly feel this urge to talk about our spiritual life, stuff from the Bible, etc. Also, my interest in like Christian events around Singapore have grown. As in like, the Mighty Man 2 camp Hui told me of on sunday, the 得胜之歌 at QTMC that Yibin told me about, the Bible study class that he also told me about, FOP earlier on, etc. including performances of biblical related works, eg Handel's Messiah on dvd and more recently, Mendelssohn's Elijah this coming saturday. So far I've told some people, Dot, Shu, Tejay n Hui etc bout the Bible study class, but they're all either occupied with other cell group or bible study activities of their own already, or busy with work/school etc. There hasn't been anybody I can really talk with about all this. Or perhaps its just that I want to talk with certain persons. Foolish thoughts. But it is true that so far, I've only had the chance to mention to them about the events/things, or at most say a bit more about it, but that's all. Otherwise if we are talking, its usually about school, work(homework), music, people in school, etc. Yeah there are times when we mention about spiritual life and all, but not much when we're together. What I normally read of, now that is, is from Shu's blog. Thank God for that though. =) Its really a new reminder, new lesson learnt, each time I visit her blog. =) God please help her in her spiritual life, that she should always be steadfast, and help her in her weaknesses, show Yourself whole through our weaknesses, that others may come to believe in You too, and experience Your great Love. =)

Just took out my Bible 'cause wanna write about Sunday's sermon, and saw the green slipper handphone chain that Dot gave me for my birthday. I've attached it to the zip on my Bible case, and the "R" that came with it is on my handphone. The green slipper is a reminder of Jesus's footsteps, one that brings eternal life(represented by green), to everybody, and that I should, and want to, and must always remember to follow in His footsteps. =) Only then can I live life to the fullest, by seeking God each day, which reminds me of the song 每一日, Day by Day. Something that I should always keep close to heart, an inspiration for my aspiration. The "R" on my handphone is supposed to be my name, Ruth, it not only reminds me of the Biblical character Ruth who was very loyal and faithful to Naomi and God, that I should learn from her loyalty and faith, also that "R" is for "Redeemer", that my Redeemer lives! =) I always try to make a connection between the physical and material things that I have, with God's word or characteristics and promises, making reminders out of my things, surrounding myself with God. In a world like ours today, we need to arm ourselves with His Word, something that I learnt more of from the Bible study class last tuesday, the last of the Colossians course. Must ask Cecilia for the notes. That's what God wants us to do right? As in to live in His Word each day, striving to follow Him and to be closer to Him. Especially since I know that I'm weak and need constant reminder and help.

Ok, here's what I wanna share about sunday's sermon.
It was by Dr Rev Clarence Lim, 林金成 牧师。主题：It Only Takes A Spark.
This sermon was special, well first and foremost, because it was delivered in English with Jenny as Chinese translater. I guess we were all pretty surprised, especially since he was quite an old pastor, so we probably thought he'd be very Chinese-ish. Anyway, the main point is that the impact of the sermon was still there.

Verses used are:
约翰福音 1 章 40－45 节, (John 1:40-45)
and
罗马书 10 章 11－15 节 (Romans 10:11-15)
He highlighted and quoted many other verses during the sermon.

• 罗 10:14－15 ，告诉我们为什么要传福音
  Romans 10:11-15 tells us why we should spread the Gospel
  Only when we tell others, share, that others can know about Christ, Saviour.
  eg. > 约 John 1:41 - Andrew told his brother Simon
  > 约 John 1:45 - Philip told Nathaniel
  Also, at 马可福音 Mark 6:7, Jesus sent out His 12 disciples, 门徒.
• Then there's "Where?" 在哪里传福音？

ok honestly, I think my drowsiness must have gotten the better of me, and Rev Lim was going quite fast, so was busy flipping the Bible, listening and reading what was on the powerpoint slide, more than writing down notes.

But I believe that as to "Where?", it should be everywhere, whenever we get the chance to. For truly, out God is a great God, the Only God, and we've experienced his great Love, and like the song It Only Takes A Spark says: that's how it is with God's Love, once you've experienced it, you'll want to share with everyone, you'll want to pass it on.

It will really become something that you voluntarily want to do, something that you feel that you HAVE to do, the URGE to do. That's how I feel now. The sermon was a really loud reminder to me about the countless others out there who have yet to know about Jesus and be saved, especially those people that I know, including close friends.

God please help that they will get to know you soon and that they too will be saved. Please use me as Your tool, Your servant, for your plans. Please teach me to be willing of heart, and teachable, to learn all that You have install for me.

I believe that sharing with people about Jesus and God's great Love, isn't just going around talking about the Gospel or about Jesus and God. Its about showing with actions. This reminds me of the Daily Bread entry for 8 September 2005, titled "A Helping Hand". The verse is from 路加福音 Luke 5：17－26. It is the story of Jesus healing the paralysed man, 治好瘫子. Briefly, it is about a paralysed man whose 4 friends heard about Jesus and His miracles, and that He was nearby, so they carried their paralysed friend on a mat all the way to the house where Jesus was staying at. Upon reaching, they found the house to be overcrowded with people and that they could not enter through the door. Nevertheless determined to help their friend, they carried him onto the roof, and removed the tiles on the roof, creating a hole big enough to lower their friend down to Jesus, and Jesus cured the paralysed man. This friend who was paralysed, was given the chance to know Jesus through the loving actions of his friends. From this, he believed and was saved, both his soul and body, and went home glorifying God.
The Daily Bread entry's story itself is about how a college student who was really down in life at that time, was helped by a Christian friend time and again. Eventually she asked her Christian friend why they did all this for her, and her Christian friend was able to tell her about the love of Jesus, thus sharing the Gospel.
The verse quoted was:
那将要灰心，离弃全能者，不敬畏 神的人，他的朋友，当以慈爱待他。
To him who is afflicted, kindness should be shown by his friend.
- 约伯记 Job 6:14
The Chinese version says to show kindness to those who are spiritually in need of help, I believe that we should help whoever may be in any kind of need, as long as it is within our means, even if it means sacrificing a little time or comfort, and it is righteous and not something indecent or unlawful in God's eyes. And even if we cannot physically do anything to help, we should always pray for them, and at the very least offer a warm smile or hello when we do meet them, that they should know that they are not forgotten.
[Not long ago a friend shared with me about how he hadn't actually shared/spoke about the Gospel since a certain chance to do so many weeks ago. Well, just wanna tell him that I feel that its not just about the actual telling of the Gospel, but of showing through our daily actions and lives love for others, His love, then we'll eventually get the chance to share with them about the Gospel itself, through God's own perfect planning.]
It is difficult, if not impossible to like everybody that we meet, everybody knows that, but what we can do, is to try to still be nice and kind towards people no matter what differences we have against them. This is what I think, 'cause Jesus certainly didn't turn on the people who were mean to Him and harmed Him, especially people that others felt were unlovable, and I guess He must have disliked having all those horrible stuff done to Him, yet He loved the people, every one of us, and sacrificed Himself willingly, and was not unkind to them. God was with Him all the way.

God please help me, because sometimes I say things, like now, about what I've read or learnt fromYour Word, but I am not always fully sure if I'm saying them right. I most certainly do not want to mislead anybody, yet I am fully aware now, after Cecilia's Bible study class, that the devil is always out to harm us, and he can jolly well make us doubt ourselves. Thank God for Weifu reminding me about that. God please help me. You said that should we have any questions or doubts about life or anything, always refer to the Bible for answers, they're all there. Yes they are all there, of course! but sometimes I read and do not fully understand. Please help me and enlighten me. I guess this is where fellowship with others and Bible study together is needed right? God please help me. Thank You for leading me to where I am now, please continue to help me, and renew my faith in You each day, that my faith in You should grow stronger each day, that I may know you more each day, like the lyrics of Day by Day, that I should seek You more clearly, love You more dearly, and follow You more nearly. Please help me to never be proud. Never is a difficult word to use, because I am weak, but with You, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! 我靠着那加给我力量的，凡事都能作！-腓立比书 4 章 13 节 (Philippians 4:13) He will help me to do wrong less, and right more! =)

ok it is getting really late, aka early in the morning, 3:08am currently. I should be more obedient to my parents and sleep earlier, so I really had better go to sleep now. Dad's already come out just now. Don't want to have ma or pa having to come out again.

Oh and thank God very much that I've finished most of my harmony hw for today! hehe! only have 1 question left! =) didn't manage to hand in today's CW before Ms Karen left school though, hopefully won't have to deduct too many marks when handed in next lesson. sigh. but thank God anyway for helping me finish my work! =) And thank God for giving me the chance to talk with Renee today, and the chance to attend the open rehearsal for Elijah at Esplanade =)

To whoever's reading this:
take care and God bless you always =)

3:16am

just thank God...

Well, dunno what to put for my title, so really just thank God. =)
24 September 2005 Saturday

• Thank God that although I had a headache after waking up around lunch time, I had a very restful day, 'cause I went back to napping after eating 3/4 of my lunch and 2panadol pills. I don't normally eat panadol 'cause it seems useless on me, but mum said it could help so I just tried. I'm still uncertain about its effectiveness on me, but the fact remains that I was better by dinner time, and grabbed an apple and rushed off to Esplanade for the Mahler 6 concert.
• Thank God that although I initially thought that I had gotten onto a "black cab" becuase the driver didn't seem to know how to go to CTE from Thomson, and didn't have the usual taxi driver's name and details put up on the windscreen, it turned out to be ok. The driver uncle got worried when we reached Novena and I called dad to ask directions and advice, offering to give me a free ride for the trouble. But after chatting with him more further on and hearing his story, and asking him to show me his lisence which he did in the end, I realised that he really was clean, just a new driver who didn't know the roads that well and that his cab didn't have the slot for the driver ID put up on the windscreen yet. Paid the full amount of the cab fare, couldn't bare to take a free ride after all the trouble and worry I'd caused.
• Thank God that I safely got to Esplanade with 5mins to spare, wasn't late, and saw many others that I knew sitting on the same level as me. Including school people, a couple of Mus'art people and other friends, including those I was guessing would turn up. Saw Akari too! Wasn't sure if it was her at first 'cause the hall lights were dimmed by the time she entered, but met her with Yibin after the concert at the Concourse. So happy to see her! =) She looked kind of tired, hope she's ok, God please take care of her and bless her. Oh yeah, she's going back to Japan on monday, maybe can send her off? haha dunno. =p
• Thank God for all the people that I saw and met, and that I didn't get paranoid. was bit worried bout my e effect of my hair on ppl at first, but turned out ok, still communicatable with everybody =) THANK GOD! and also thank God for comforting me on my way home, when i was stone/stunned stiff when i knew i had to go home, n got stiffly onto e bus, when everyone else, including everybody, was going out elsewhere after e concert.

This is today's entry from Daily Bread, was reading it on the way home, and more, up til verse 64.
决定顺从耶和华的律法
25 我的性命几乎归于尘土，求祢照祢的话将我救活。
26 我述说我所行的，祢应允了我；求祢将祢的律例教训我。
27 求你使我明白祢的训词，我就思想祢的奇事。
28 我的心因愁苦而消化，求祢照祢的话使我坚立。
29 求祢使我离开奸诈的道，开恩将祢的律法赐给我。
30 我拣选了忠信的道，将祢的典章摆在我面前。
31 我持守祢的法度；耶和华啊，求祢不要叫我羞愧。
32 祢开广我心的时候，我就往祢命令的道上直奔。
求主赐悟性
33 耶和华啊，求祢将祢的律例指教我，我必遵守到底。
34 求祢赐我悟性，我便遵守祢的律法，且要一心遵守。
35 求祢叫我遵行祢的命令因为这是我所喜悦的。
36 求祢使我的心，趋向祢的法度，不趋向非义之财。
37 求祢叫我转眼不看虚假，又叫我在祢的道中生活。
38 祢向敬畏祢的人所应许的话，求祢向仆人坚定。
39 求祢使我所怕的羞辱远离我，因祢的典章本为美。
40 我羡慕祢的训词，求祢使我在祢的公义上生活。
－诗篇 119 篇 25-40节
Thank God for the comfort and reminder.

• Thank God that I had the chance to talk with some friends online after getting home.
• Thank God for my dinner at home, that I could eat without much loss of appetite, which happened during lunch.
• Just thank God for everything that's happened. Can't say everything here, too much I guess, but yeah, Thank GOD! =) I'm happy. Indeed everything that He plans for our life, has its own reason, and is all in His time. Just gotta learn and always remember to be patient! =) Faith Hope and Love! =)

Thank God for renewing my Faith in You.

Thank God for giving me Hope whenever I'm sad or down or need help.

Thank God for always Loving me and being there for me.

Going to sleep now. 2.10am

To those who are reading this,
Take care and God bless you always! =)

21sept, 22sept, 23sept.

Ah its friday at last!! Thank God for bringing me through this week. sigh. at least the weekdays are over.


21 September 2005 Wednesday

• Thank God for bringing me through the day.
• Thank God for getting me to school safely, and the bus was fast today. Was late for Aural at 10am, reached like 20mins late I think.
• Thank God for reminding me to spend more time with my friends. Had lunch with Dot, Nat, Shufeng, Angel, Hui'en, Yifang, Sebas, Ryan, Desmond and Daniel Kiang at the laksa place near OG. Ate my own bread with sausages and bought hot teh to drink. Didn't talk that much myself, something that's becoming habitual of me nowadays when with a group of friends, mostly sat and listened and added a few comments or asked a few questions here and there. Dunno, think I've been solitude-ing too much, need to spend more time with my friends. At least with familiar people I didn't feel paranoid, just nothing much to say. I think I was becoming a workaholic. Hope I stop being one. Actually more slack now compared to last year, academic year.
• Wow, really thank God that for once, I didn't fall asleep during Platform! haha! Its really the first time for me, in a very long time at any rate. That just goes to show how tired I've been, that the very moment I get to sit down and am in a relaxed position, I start falling asleep. Not that I wasn't tired today, just that, for some reason, I could stay awake and listen to the music and actually process some of it! Something is happening, hope its good., sure seems good. =) THANK GOD!

I can't really remember that much now, because its been a few days already. Was really tired and doing work late at night that's why didn't blog. This will probably be the regularity of my blogging from now onwards, every other day or so.

• Thank God that the rest of the day was ok. Praced after Sightsinging again, blahblahblah.
• Oh and I finally collected the rest of the money that S owed me, and me to mummy. Thank God very much that that's one thing settled! =)
• Thank God for the evening spent with Shufeng and Dot shopping for Nat's present! Spent quite some time walking around and talking a little. I think I've started sharing abit myself with Shufeng, as in about my own self. Told her about the S oweing thing while we were in the com lab waiting for Dot's reply about meeting. Talked again on the way back bout the strauss concerto and me being stressed. Well was not bad. We were really quite stuck together while in access course, being the only 2 girl wind players, then 'cause of incidents in year1, drifted apart. I hope that we can really become friends. As in closer. God please take care of her and help and bless her always, that whatever happens is according to Your will.
• Thank God that I could prac again later at night from around 9-11+pm. The big sized security uncle was on duty, he came knocking on my door when I was packing. Thank God that the uncle only came after I had finished pracing for the day.
• Thank God for bringing me safely home. Waited quite awhile for the bus and got home after 12am I think? ah was still home safely lah.

22 September 2005 Thursday

• Thank God that although I was very tired, He gave me the strength to finish my composition homework, a Minimalist piece. Result was "Of Sevens". Finished very late, 3am+, including printing that, Alan's piece, and Yunqi's viola part.
• Thank God that although I woke up late, very late, missed warming up before Harmony tutorial and was so late for class that there was only 20-15mins left, I had time to do some warmup after tut, and my prac with nat before lunch was still ok, went through twice and the Animato part.
• Thank God for bringing me safely through the rain to BK for lunch with Dot, Nat, Shufeng, Ryan, Hui'en, Yifang, Daniel K etc, and that I didn't sneeze much or catch and cold from getting wet.
• Thank God that Compo tut was ok, as in for my piece. Was fun trying to perform other people's pieces, haha, enjoyed. =p
• Thank God too that Brass class didn't go too badly. Fredi gave his usual comments, he was rather strict and cutting today though. Maybe 'cause he wasn't in that good a mood, maybe 'cause end up only 2 people (Luke & me) playing? and actually ended class like 25mins early! And he went out promptly after my turn of playing then comments, without even bothering to get much comments from much people. Well hope we'll all play better during the brass platform rehearsal on monday, and that he will be in a better mood. God please take care of him and bless him always.
• Thank God too that at least Lifeng spoke up when asked for comments, and actually mentioned that I had improved since last time, and said that I had brought what I had done in the prac room to the performance. Really needed that to push me on. And she even helped when I asked her stuff afterwards about my performance. Thank GOD! Shall continue to persevere! Must always remember that in all I do, I do it for God, not for man. Not for Fredi or anybody, not even Jamie. But to glorify God, that people will see that His children are hardworking and that all that we have are from Him.

Its a very thin line for performers. Always have to keep that in mind. argh. its so much to think about and understand. Having to perform our best, yet that God loves us no matter what, even if it isn't perfect(duh), that really "its the thought that counts", as in that we are doing it with sincerity. God please help me. =

Couldn't bare to touch the strauss concerto again for the rest of the day.

• Thank God that Shufeng called me and I got to have dinner with her and Dot at Bugis Village Food Court, instead of finding somewhere to eat alone 'cause there wasn't much people left. Ate pasta, chicken with mushroom cream, same as Shu. Was good! for $3.80 its really worth it, lots of liao4 and yummy.
• Thank God that after dinner and waiting with Shu for her bus, Dot and I got to spend some time, me waiting to get my tix for Mahler 6 and Elijah, and she waiting for me to go buy shoes. In the end, she went to see her shoes first, 'cause my queue was kinda frozen for quite a long while, say 20mins?? haha. But thank God for everything, cos after I finally got my tix and wanted to go meet her, she told me to go back school to prac, which fortunately I did, for some scarlet reasons. haha. So all was well thank God.
• Thank God that I got my scales and kopprasch etude 14 better. Again til 9+-11+pm, but bus came shortly after I reached the bus stop so got home before 12! Thank God! mum n hui were still awake loh! haha happy. could talk a little bit.

well I was supposed to update my blog abit, but ended up falling asleep leaning against my bed when going to shower, arh, den only woke up properly 3+am, switched off com and went back to sleep.

23 September 2005 Friday

since I slept so early, should have had alot of sleep right? but no, I still woke up late. very.
Had personal stuff to do so ended up missing going for sports day altogether.

• Thank God though, that I felt more rested, and got to have lunch with ma and ai at Sakae Sushi in J8. ok sushi isn't my favourite food, but still glad that I got to spend time with ma and ai, and it was quite filling after all. Thank God for that.
• Thank God that I finally went for my haircut after lunch! ma drove me there. arh, but my hair is kinda too short now! Its really cooling now, but hadn't planned it to be THIS short. Wait til I take a photo and upload it here. eee. God I really don't want to complain, but its really sickening when I go out and people keep going on about "why don't you keep long hair?" "so short again?" "*shocked*" "ah boy..." etc.. I'm a GIRL!!!! and its MY hair!!!! I mean there are so many other girls, ladies, females, out there with short hair, even shorter than mine now actually, who can go about perfectly fine without such, may I call it, "harassment". sigh.
  no wonder nobody will ever want me lahhhh... i know its not about looks but yah, a girl who looks like a guy?? excuse me??... i'd say that's pretty hard to tahan if i were a guy. esp when this girl with short hair somehow just has the face that looks like a guy. -_-
  Well, at least Lifeng said its nice after her initial excited reaction, and said bout how I should like gel my hair or something. O_o dunno. worth a try? BUT ITS JUST LOOKS!!!! dot. I need to keep up a reputation as God's child, be a proper girl, etc, but I'm not really being unproper right???? at least I don't think so. and anyway during the Bible study class on tuesday, Cecilia said that it doesn't matter what others look like, we still love them and accept them in God's family. Well those people who gave less nice comments arn't yet in that family. = / argh. I know that my real closer friends will be nicer 'bout it, but there are many others around, and like what Alan predicted, this is so gonna be the topic of the week. The coming week anyway. (confirmation to my fears)
  Whatever it is, God must have his purpose. Please God, show me your way and teach me to be tolerant and patient. Patient. And teach me to love those around me no matter what. I know that I'll never be able to truly love unconditionally like You do, but I'll do the best that I can, I'll try, because "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" -Phil 4:13.
• Praced til a little too late, but thank God that I had a cai bao and rou bao for dinner, and managed to finish both just before boarding the bus to PLCMC, and got there before they started proper. I wouldn't say that it was my best day performance wise, but at least I sorta cleared up some funny notes and articulation.
• Thank God that after prac, while waiting for dad to come, crapped around with Eugene, at least now I know that they are all ok with me, and that it really was just me and probably some misunderstanding 'bout my practising habits that were the main trench between me and some of the PLCMC orch guys. Thank God that things are much better now, especially since most of the other wind players and people from our age group clique are not here due to As and Os, and NS for 2 guys. Among wind players I've got Bjorn to talk to, and Michelle when she comes. I'm like the oldest few, say the 5th oldest of the people playing/conducting in the orch, not including parents waiting for their children. 4th when Mrs Ilano isn't here.
• Thank God that dad let the 3 of us get mushroom cheese pratas for supper! yummy! hui didn't like it that much, but it was still yummy! haha.

God please forgive me for raising my temper with hui for freely airing her opinions about the prata. I should have been nicer and more understanding. sigh.

• Thank God for the time to finally blog. Also to see hui and ai's blogs, and to wish a friend happy birthday and chat a little with Edward. Please take care of them all, and bless them always and guide them through their trials in life, that they may come out stronger and wiser, and closer to You. That all of us will.

and its saturday morning already. 5:28am. ARGH.

ok that's all for now.
oh and I realised something, i've had my mind occupied for e last hour or so! no thinking of what i rather not be thinking! yeah! thank God. =)

你要逃避少年的私欲，同那卿心祷告主的人追求公义，信德， 仁爱， 和平。
－提摩太前书 2：22

after typing this verse, I just realised something, the time of 2:22am/pm that I always see, particularly am, coincides with the chapt and verse of this particular verse! maybe that's why God always lets me see that time. Now that I know this fact, I will always be reminded! =) Thank God!! Amen.

To whoever is reading this, take care and God bless you always. =)

5:43am on saturday 24sept05
the rooster crowed already. haha..

first Bible study class

Thank God for bringing me through today. It has certainly been stressful in certain ways, but He has always made everything right.

• Thank God for having dad wake me up so patiently twice, and then sending me to school because it was on the way as he was going to town.
• Thank God that although I reached at 11:40am and was late for class, I did not miss any part of the lecture as Mr Yap came late from talking with Mr Adams. Also, I managed to understand most of the lecture.

oh and there's Harmony project to be done, and I'm group leader, ha. Fortunately its a smaller group this time, 5 people, all girls(all girls in my whole tutorial group actually), hope we'll be able to work well together and that I can do my best as a group leader. God please help me!

Also, at the end of the lecture after Mr Yap talked with us group leaders and I was packing my stuff, he asked if I was ok, then said that Ms Karen said that I still had a few assignments due. That really surprised me, because I remember having done up all necessary HWs n CWs due AND handing them in to her last thursday after Harmony test. Maybe Mr Yap's just misinformed or hasn't been updated. Hope that's the case. Still have to check with Ms Karen first to be sure.

• Thank God that I had food for lunch, 2 sausages, 2 slices of wheat bread, an apple and a cup of soupy snack. BUT, I must make sure that I do not eat in the tech room again. esp after the Bible study class tonight, I'm going to make it a point to obey all the rules set before me as much as I possibly can. Thank God that I haven't gotten caught before, I'll make sure that I don't, by not commiting the same offence again.
• Thank God that I had the chance to practise with Nat for over an hour, I'd say close to 2 hours in total I think(?).. (WOW!) this afternoon. Thank God for her patience with my being slow and sometimes difficult, and her willingness to help me whenever we practice together. Please help me not to complain so much and to be more understanding of her. I think I must have overpractised as Alan said, or at least overstressed myself this afternoon. Was very shakey by the end of our first session of practice, and even after the close to an hour(?) break and rest, I was still rather shakey when we practised again for the recording. There was improvement at certain parts, definitely, but I think was mentally overtaxed. I'm not so sure about Nat, just know that she MUSt have been tired too. Am really grateful that during the second session planned for just recording once, she willingly urged me to go on and practised the parts in Animato that I had difficulty with, and even recorded the Animato over two more times AND play through the whole 1st movement again. Thank God very much for such a friend and accompanist, I am very fortunate.
• Thank God that although I was shaking even worse after practising the Strauss, He gave me the strength to practise my E minor scale.
• Thank God for helping me to remember to bring my bilingual Bible and Aural ear-training book with me when I left school.
• Thank God for providing me with food for dinner and time to eat. All that shakey-ness must have caused me to lose my appetite, so just bought a vegetable bao.
• Thank God that I caught the buses without having to wait too long and reached Hakka Methodist Church early, 7:35pm, so had time to eat the bao and calm down abit and read a little bit of Colossians. Thank God also that I met JM on the bus at Orchard MRT stop, and chatted with him, which also helped to calm me down, especially since he started asking questions related to the Bible and church(though I wasn't sure if he might have been a little sarcastic) after learning that I was going for a Bible study class. Thank God for letting me meet somebody I was familiar with before going to somewhere unfamiliar with not very familiar people. Oh and also thank God for letting me meet Dot downstairs at the main door when I was leaving. Told her about the Bible study class I was going to and shared my worries and fear with her. She encouraged me and reminded me that I was going there for God and not people, so not to be scared.
• And thank God that in the end, everything was ok. Yibin came around 7.50+pm, was so glad to see him when he came walking up to the gate. Thank God for helping me stay calm and not acting silly or getting overly paranoid. Got a seat between him and his friend Rosie, who shared her textbook and notes with me, and was introduced to them. Moses, Rosie, and his oboe ex-student Rebecca, a baby christian, just 2 weeks. =) Thank God. Oh and Yibin had actually arranged for Rosie to share her stuff with me, touched that he was so thoughtful as to do that. The people there were warm and friendly, and most importantly, the lesson was WONDERFUL! Was totally flooded with so much of God's word, His meanings, advices, and lots more! Really wowed and looking forward to the start of the next course already! haha.. =D No worries about dozing off during her(Cecilia Perh's) lesson. She was very spirited and eager to share. And with a topic like God's word, the feeling is, well, just indescribable. Even though I was rather urgent for a toilet break halfway through, He helped me to bear through the whole lesson. Rosie said that they usually have a break halfway through, but there wasn't one today, maybe because it was the last lesson on Colossians and she had alot to teach. There really was alot, and she went non-stop, power man! haha.. So glad that I went for the Bible study class. I'm going to tell more people about this! =D
• Thank God for giving me the chance to meet some of the other people there, including Yibin's elder brother(don't know his name) and a lady he was with, can't remember her name, something-Jun, and a very warm and friendly lady HuiJun. After that, walked to the bus stop with Yibin, Rebecca, HuiJun, and a couple of other people. Had the chance to chat with Rebecca, glad to meet her. She's from AMK Sec and knowns JieMin from ATSB, Singapore is SO SMALL! haha.. Thank God that 162 came just as we were reaching the bus stop (thank God one that's closer to the church than the one I alighted at earlier), so I said a quick bye and rushed to catch the bus.
• Thank God that I reached home early, 1045pm, so got to talk a little with mum and hui again. =p Dad was downstairs when I reached home but he soon went up to do his work, he was quite blur as usual when I said hi to him after he went up, haha..
• Thank God very much that I've finished my Aural HW for this week! Wasn't too bad, my results were quite encouraging =D yeah! Must practise aural more and not slack again!

ok its like 1 min to 4am already!! so fast!!!! I must type faster, and start earlier next time. This is precisely why I stopped blogging in the past, because I always took so long and ended up sleeping so late, but this time I've got a different purpose, so God will help me find a way to juggle all my commitments, and I'll make sure that I play my part by being commited and punctual.
Off to bed now! goodnight! =)
To whoever is reading this, take care and God bless you always. =)

sunday 18sept & monday 19sept 05

Thank God for bringing me through these past two days.

Sunday 18 Sept 2005

• thank God for bringing me to church with enough time to set up my horn, warm up, and even tune before the service started.
• thank God that mum prepared breakfast of sausages and bread and that I had time to eat my breakfast after playing for the start of first service because there wasn't sunday school.
• thank God that although there was no sunday school for my class this week because our teacher was away, and I had forgotten to bring the book I had intended to bring to read, I got time to read abit of Colossians.
• thank God for helping me stay awake during sermon, and managed to jot down notes too.
• thank God very much that YangGuang theory lesson went more smoothly, and that hopefully I had helped the children to learn something. Please take care of them God, they are really very good and lovable children.
• thank God for lunch, that the otah from the nasi lemak wasn't too hot and I didn't eat much of the chilli because it stayed in one corner of the container.
• thank God for dad sending me to Mus'art prac.
• thank God that Mus'art prac was ok.
• thank God for dad fetching me from Mus'art prac because he met a client in clementi, which was nearby.
• thank God for the yummy and filling dinner that we packed home.
• thank God for having dad fetch me to the bus stop outside as it was along the way, and letting me get to school around 8pm so that I had more time to practise.
• thank God for letting me clear my scales and playing my kopprasch no.14 through more fluently.
• thank God for mum and dad fetching me home from school, and kindly waiting for me for so long, half an hour. Reached home before 12mn.

I'm sorry:

• that I made mum and dad wait for so long, please God, help me to be more obedient and punctual. It isn't nice to make anybody wait.
• for all the mean not nice things that I've done and said during the day. Please help me to be kinder to others.
• I did not do quiet time because I was doing my history presentation throughout the night and dozed off towards daybreak.

Monday 19th Sept 2005

• thank God that although I hardly slept the whole night because I was doing my history presentation, I had enough energy to last me through the day, and only got a headache on my journey home, which improved as I arrived at home.
• thank God that I woke up a minute after mum's call at 8.25am. This means that I was actually waken up by her call even though my hp was on silent mode! miracle! =)
• thank God for getting me to school safely without getting wet. (it rained in e morning)
• thank God that I had time to go through my whole warmup routine before band(which was changed to sectionals).
• thank God for helping me to play ok and with more confidence during brass sectionals with Mr Adams. Renee actually said not bad! =) really thank God, and please keep helping me to play better and be humble. =)
• thank God that I managed to prac kopprasch 14 up to crotchet=100, though rather messy, it was still there.
• thank God that lesson wasn't too bad, got advice and help from Jamie, mostly working on the Strauss after scales. thank God the front part was ok and managed to improve on it.

but kept running away with the rhythm and articulation at the Animato part, God please help me to stay calm and prac hard and be able to my best for brass class on thursday and brass platform next wednesday. And that all that I do, I do for You only and no one else, not to please Fredi or Adams whoever, but because I should always do my best in everything I attempt and be hardworking and dilligent.

I haven't been very diligent with my history homework, the exact opposite in fact. I MUST buck up and get going with all my history homework, deadlines are coming up fast! or even over already. =x

• oh and thank God very much that I managed to finish my Harmony test on thursday! AND used all the 6 most important decorations and many others. Hopefully I got them right and will be able to pass. And thank God that I should have gotten most of the keys correct since they are the same with some my classmates who are better in Harmony.
  
• thank God that Mr Adams took my concerto competition form without asking much, and that I still had time to finish my dinner at Kopitiam and reach YMS just on time for the New Music Ensemble concert. And also thanks that Ryan waited for me to finish eating before leaving, as the others had left as it was getting late.
• thank God that although I was rather drowsy at first because I was so tired, the continuing pieces were very interesting and I could stay awake. Enjoyed the concert! Good programming and all. Also met Iskandar and got to say hi after the concert. Dear God please bless him and keep him safe.
• thank God that I had the chance to come home earlier, and that I was tired and had a little headache, otherwise I would have stayed in school again. By coming home, I got to spend time chatting with mum and hui, and watched/read this presentation/flash thingy about ancient chinese language being related to biblical history. (see it in my first entry today)
• thank God that I had the chance to talk with Tejay just now. God please help him and take care of him. Please take care of Angeles too.
• thank God for everything that has happened today, and for safely seeing me through another day.

It is late already, 2:48am, shall quickly go do quiet time and go to sleep.

你要靠主常喜乐！=)

Ancient Chinese: Language of God?

Got this link from an email my mum received from her friend.
Its about how some characters of the Ancient (traditional) Chinese language are related to history according to the Bible, like creation, Adam and Eve, Noah and the Ark etc.
Its really interesting and worth a look at, especially for those interested in the Chinese language.
http://www.wbschool.org/chinesecharacters.htm

new blog

ok here's my new blog... I've been wanting to keep some sort of journal about the blessings from God in my daily life, and also about my spiritual life, so......

Its dedicated to writing about my TBM: trials, blessings, miracles.. that God puts in my life.
I'll update as often as possible.
Hope to use this to share about God's love through what He has done in my life, and also to keep in touch with friends.
I know I've been spending too much time on school that I've really neglected alot of friends and family, really sorry. Want to change that now. I'm making it a point to come online on weekend-nights to read friends' blogs and chat etc.
Won't write much really personal stuff here, because the internet is a totally unsafe place, and I'm not exactly ready to announce all my private stuff to the whole internet population, still very introverted, so yah.
Also going to try to type as much as possible in proper English so as to maintain and improve my grasp of the language. Will try to use Chinese too when possible, still exploring the Chinese word program on my computer. I love Chinese and don't ever want to lose it, its our roots!

There's church tomorrow morning, don't want to be late again so shall be going to sleep soon.
Honor God, be early. That's what the poster outside the door of the 3rd floor chapel says, I'll remember that and do my best to honor God and not indulge in laziness and sleep gluttony.

To whoever reads this:
Take care and God bless you always! =)

如今常存的有信，有望，有爱；这三样，其中最大的是爱。
－哥林多前书 13 章 13 节 (Corinthians 13:13)