21sept, 22sept, 23sept.

Ah its friday at last!! Thank God for bringing me through this week. sigh. at least the weekdays are over.


21 September 2005 Wednesday

• Thank God for bringing me through the day.
• Thank God for getting me to school safely, and the bus was fast today. Was late for Aural at 10am, reached like 20mins late I think.
• Thank God for reminding me to spend more time with my friends. Had lunch with Dot, Nat, Shufeng, Angel, Hui'en, Yifang, Sebas, Ryan, Desmond and Daniel Kiang at the laksa place near OG. Ate my own bread with sausages and bought hot teh to drink. Didn't talk that much myself, something that's becoming habitual of me nowadays when with a group of friends, mostly sat and listened and added a few comments or asked a few questions here and there. Dunno, think I've been solitude-ing too much, need to spend more time with my friends. At least with familiar people I didn't feel paranoid, just nothing much to say. I think I was becoming a workaholic. Hope I stop being one. Actually more slack now compared to last year, academic year.
• Wow, really thank God that for once, I didn't fall asleep during Platform! haha! Its really the first time for me, in a very long time at any rate. That just goes to show how tired I've been, that the very moment I get to sit down and am in a relaxed position, I start falling asleep. Not that I wasn't tired today, just that, for some reason, I could stay awake and listen to the music and actually process some of it! Something is happening, hope its good., sure seems good. =) THANK GOD!

I can't really remember that much now, because its been a few days already. Was really tired and doing work late at night that's why didn't blog. This will probably be the regularity of my blogging from now onwards, every other day or so.

• Thank God that the rest of the day was ok. Praced after Sightsinging again, blahblahblah.
• Oh and I finally collected the rest of the money that S owed me, and me to mummy. Thank God very much that that's one thing settled! =)
• Thank God for the evening spent with Shufeng and Dot shopping for Nat's present! Spent quite some time walking around and talking a little. I think I've started sharing abit myself with Shufeng, as in about my own self. Told her about the S oweing thing while we were in the com lab waiting for Dot's reply about meeting. Talked again on the way back bout the strauss concerto and me being stressed. Well was not bad. We were really quite stuck together while in access course, being the only 2 girl wind players, then 'cause of incidents in year1, drifted apart. I hope that we can really become friends. As in closer. God please take care of her and help and bless her always, that whatever happens is according to Your will.
• Thank God that I could prac again later at night from around 9-11+pm. The big sized security uncle was on duty, he came knocking on my door when I was packing. Thank God that the uncle only came after I had finished pracing for the day.
• Thank God for bringing me safely home. Waited quite awhile for the bus and got home after 12am I think? ah was still home safely lah.

22 September 2005 Thursday

• Thank God that although I was very tired, He gave me the strength to finish my composition homework, a Minimalist piece. Result was "Of Sevens". Finished very late, 3am+, including printing that, Alan's piece, and Yunqi's viola part.
• Thank God that although I woke up late, very late, missed warming up before Harmony tutorial and was so late for class that there was only 20-15mins left, I had time to do some warmup after tut, and my prac with nat before lunch was still ok, went through twice and the Animato part.
• Thank God for bringing me safely through the rain to BK for lunch with Dot, Nat, Shufeng, Ryan, Hui'en, Yifang, Daniel K etc, and that I didn't sneeze much or catch and cold from getting wet.
• Thank God that Compo tut was ok, as in for my piece. Was fun trying to perform other people's pieces, haha, enjoyed. =p
• Thank God too that Brass class didn't go too badly. Fredi gave his usual comments, he was rather strict and cutting today though. Maybe 'cause he wasn't in that good a mood, maybe 'cause end up only 2 people (Luke & me) playing? and actually ended class like 25mins early! And he went out promptly after my turn of playing then comments, without even bothering to get much comments from much people. Well hope we'll all play better during the brass platform rehearsal on monday, and that he will be in a better mood. God please take care of him and bless him always.
• Thank God too that at least Lifeng spoke up when asked for comments, and actually mentioned that I had improved since last time, and said that I had brought what I had done in the prac room to the performance. Really needed that to push me on. And she even helped when I asked her stuff afterwards about my performance. Thank GOD! Shall continue to persevere! Must always remember that in all I do, I do it for God, not for man. Not for Fredi or anybody, not even Jamie. But to glorify God, that people will see that His children are hardworking and that all that we have are from Him.

Its a very thin line for performers. Always have to keep that in mind. argh. its so much to think about and understand. Having to perform our best, yet that God loves us no matter what, even if it isn't perfect(duh), that really "its the thought that counts", as in that we are doing it with sincerity. God please help me. =

Couldn't bare to touch the strauss concerto again for the rest of the day.

• Thank God that Shufeng called me and I got to have dinner with her and Dot at Bugis Village Food Court, instead of finding somewhere to eat alone 'cause there wasn't much people left. Ate pasta, chicken with mushroom cream, same as Shu. Was good! for $3.80 its really worth it, lots of liao4 and yummy.
• Thank God that after dinner and waiting with Shu for her bus, Dot and I got to spend some time, me waiting to get my tix for Mahler 6 and Elijah, and she waiting for me to go buy shoes. In the end, she went to see her shoes first, 'cause my queue was kinda frozen for quite a long while, say 20mins?? haha. But thank God for everything, cos after I finally got my tix and wanted to go meet her, she told me to go back school to prac, which fortunately I did, for some scarlet reasons. haha. So all was well thank God.
• Thank God that I got my scales and kopprasch etude 14 better. Again til 9+-11+pm, but bus came shortly after I reached the bus stop so got home before 12! Thank God! mum n hui were still awake loh! haha happy. could talk a little bit.

well I was supposed to update my blog abit, but ended up falling asleep leaning against my bed when going to shower, arh, den only woke up properly 3+am, switched off com and went back to sleep.

23 September 2005 Friday

since I slept so early, should have had alot of sleep right? but no, I still woke up late. very.
Had personal stuff to do so ended up missing going for sports day altogether.

• Thank God though, that I felt more rested, and got to have lunch with ma and ai at Sakae Sushi in J8. ok sushi isn't my favourite food, but still glad that I got to spend time with ma and ai, and it was quite filling after all. Thank God for that.
• Thank God that I finally went for my haircut after lunch! ma drove me there. arh, but my hair is kinda too short now! Its really cooling now, but hadn't planned it to be THIS short. Wait til I take a photo and upload it here. eee. God I really don't want to complain, but its really sickening when I go out and people keep going on about "why don't you keep long hair?" "so short again?" "*shocked*" "ah boy..." etc.. I'm a GIRL!!!! and its MY hair!!!! I mean there are so many other girls, ladies, females, out there with short hair, even shorter than mine now actually, who can go about perfectly fine without such, may I call it, "harassment". sigh.
  no wonder nobody will ever want me lahhhh... i know its not about looks but yah, a girl who looks like a guy?? excuse me??... i'd say that's pretty hard to tahan if i were a guy. esp when this girl with short hair somehow just has the face that looks like a guy. -_-
  Well, at least Lifeng said its nice after her initial excited reaction, and said bout how I should like gel my hair or something. O_o dunno. worth a try? BUT ITS JUST LOOKS!!!! dot. I need to keep up a reputation as God's child, be a proper girl, etc, but I'm not really being unproper right???? at least I don't think so. and anyway during the Bible study class on tuesday, Cecilia said that it doesn't matter what others look like, we still love them and accept them in God's family. Well those people who gave less nice comments arn't yet in that family. = / argh. I know that my real closer friends will be nicer 'bout it, but there are many others around, and like what Alan predicted, this is so gonna be the topic of the week. The coming week anyway. (confirmation to my fears)
  Whatever it is, God must have his purpose. Please God, show me your way and teach me to be tolerant and patient. Patient. And teach me to love those around me no matter what. I know that I'll never be able to truly love unconditionally like You do, but I'll do the best that I can, I'll try, because "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" -Phil 4:13.
• Praced til a little too late, but thank God that I had a cai bao and rou bao for dinner, and managed to finish both just before boarding the bus to PLCMC, and got there before they started proper. I wouldn't say that it was my best day performance wise, but at least I sorta cleared up some funny notes and articulation.
• Thank God that after prac, while waiting for dad to come, crapped around with Eugene, at least now I know that they are all ok with me, and that it really was just me and probably some misunderstanding 'bout my practising habits that were the main trench between me and some of the PLCMC orch guys. Thank God that things are much better now, especially since most of the other wind players and people from our age group clique are not here due to As and Os, and NS for 2 guys. Among wind players I've got Bjorn to talk to, and Michelle when she comes. I'm like the oldest few, say the 5th oldest of the people playing/conducting in the orch, not including parents waiting for their children. 4th when Mrs Ilano isn't here.
• Thank God that dad let the 3 of us get mushroom cheese pratas for supper! yummy! hui didn't like it that much, but it was still yummy! haha.

God please forgive me for raising my temper with hui for freely airing her opinions about the prata. I should have been nicer and more understanding. sigh.

• Thank God for the time to finally blog. Also to see hui and ai's blogs, and to wish a friend happy birthday and chat a little with Edward. Please take care of them all, and bless them always and guide them through their trials in life, that they may come out stronger and wiser, and closer to You. That all of us will.

and its saturday morning already. 5:28am. ARGH.

ok that's all for now.
oh and I realised something, i've had my mind occupied for e last hour or so! no thinking of what i rather not be thinking! yeah! thank God. =)

你要逃避少年的私欲，同那卿心祷告主的人追求公义，信德， 仁爱， 和平。
－提摩太前书 2：22

after typing this verse, I just realised something, the time of 2:22am/pm that I always see, particularly am, coincides with the chapt and verse of this particular verse! maybe that's why God always lets me see that time. Now that I know this fact, I will always be reminded! =) Thank God!! Amen.

To whoever is reading this, take care and God bless you always. =)

5:43am on saturday 24sept05
the rooster crowed already. haha..