Trials, Blessings, Miracles...

Friday, October 21, 2005

He will provide =)

I just wanna say that although I haven't been blogging like everyday, it doesn't mean that I'm feeling Him in my life any less. The truth is, everyday is full of new experiences, trials, learning ones and blessings and many more, if I were to write down everything that happens, I'd have to keep on writing every other moment. Also, now I sometimes write in my notebook for spiritual stuff, like sermon notes, quiet time stuff, thoughts and stuff about my spiritual life. That one contains all my most personal thoughts and everything, at hand anytime, unlike this online blog.

Today was the Concerto Competition's first round for woodwinds and brasses. There's quite abit that happened, some parts perhaps not what we, being humans, would like best, and probably think are very bad, but after much thought today, from after playing until now, He has helped me to see once again that truly, all that He has planned, is perfect. Apart from the scarlet incident, everything else fell in one after the other, and now that I come to think of it, I wasn't very worried, as in to the extent of shaking and getting all worked up and nervous. He gave me the peace and serenity to practise bits that I wasn't very clear with the articulation yet etc, while waiting for Nat to come up and run through the piece with me. It was a long wait, but I had the time to do all the necessary preparations, including changing and having a few extra minutes after eating my cup noodle lunch, clear out the bit of extra consumed air that could cause burping during the performance, etc, and much more. All the little stuff. And I did get to prac through and more or less clear all the tougher running articulated parts in the whole of the movement. And just after running through Animato then more or less the whole movement, LiFeng called to say it was my turn and ask where I was. Wow, thank God for that. Most importantly, we had the time to pray, 10seconds in the lift down from 3rd level to Stage level. ok maybe more than 10secs, but said a quick prayer with Nat, then we stepped out of the lift and back stage, put down our stuff, decided to play right away instead of waiting until after Sebas, and played. In the end, all the adrenaline from having to come down quickly and get ready helped, kept the nerves away, especially after seeing the panel of adjudicators, Adams, Fredi and Caroline. Even helped me push more, and Nat said that I was more responsive to her pushes in the music etc. So everything turned out well, Nat n Dot said it was the best yet that I had played after listening to the recording. Thank God for everything!! =) I may not have physically won any title, but He has helped me climb over a wall in myself. And also after "counselling" from Nat n Dot on monday, especially from Yibin on tuesday, I'm learning to cope with a problem I myself face, how to react to good stuff people say, aka praise, without getting all scared and hiding away. I've known for quite some time that the answer is of course "Thank God, not me!", but often forget, now, I can say that with more confidence =) really thank God for that, and everything else! =)

This evening I was resting after dinner, spending time reading Bible. Read about Abraham. On the bus ride home, read more about Abraham 亚伯拉罕, this time about "Abraham Tested 神吩咐亚伯垃罕献以撒". Was thinking about this part, verse 7 where Isaac 以撒 asked 亚伯拉罕 about the lamb for the burnt offering and what he replied in verse 8:
7 Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abrahan, "Father?"
"Yes, my son?"Abraham replied.
"The fire and wood are here," Isaac said, "but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?"

8 Abraham answered, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son."And
the two of them went on together.
7 以撒对他父亲亚伯拉罕说:“父亲啊!” 亚伯拉罕说:“我儿,我在这里。” 以撒说:“请看,火与柴
都有了,但shu2祭的羔羊在哪里呢?”
8 亚伯拉罕说:“我儿, 神必自己预备作shu2 祭 的羔羊。” 于是二人同行。

Indeed, God Himself provides for everything we need. Even at times when things don't seem like they could possibly be of any help, or to the extent where it seems like nothing else could possibly get any worse or more wrong, yet they do, in the end, everything always works out fine according to His plans. That's the first learning point and reminder today, that God always provides!
Secondly, we've got to learn to be submissive to Him. Because Abraham was, even though he was put to a seemingly impossible and horrible task, sacrificing his only and loved son. It was a test, and because he was submissive to God and obeyed Him, he passed God's test for him, and was further more blessed. Why we should be submissive to Him?: because He is God, our only Lord and Master, and only when we are submissive and obey Him and do as He says, can we see what He has in store for us. By being stubborn and disobedient, we are simply pushing away what He wants to give us. That is of no good to anybody at all. If we are truly repentent and confess our sins and are willing to change, He will surely help us, for He wants us to be saved, not dead. But if we stubbornly choose to disregard and ignore what He is trying to tell us, through other Christians and the Bible itself, then we are simply throwing ourselves into a death pit, and will most certainly be judged on Judgement Day. The evil, sinful, ungodly, those who do things that are ungodly in His eyes, will surely be judged and have to face the terrible horrible consequeces of their actions then. Knowing that, we should avoid such acts and prepare everyday to live to your very best as a Christian, He will provide for everything! =) thank God. Amen. =)

God, please help me that should I say anything that is false, please teach me and right me, that I should only speak of the truth and not false teachings.

Truly what Cecilia said during tuesday's Bible study class, that even if we can't sit down and really go into deep study of the Bible, we should always read the Bible, n live in His words. Indeed, it is true, for He'll speak to us each day through His words, and everyday we'll learn a little more and grow a little more. =)

Thank God for everything =)

To those who are reading this:
Take care and God bless you always =)

added sunday 23 oct 12:16am:
Thinking about this. My friend commented "quite an exprience isn't it..."
Well, I'd say it was more of a spiritual experiene than a musical one =) Still, thank God for it all =)

Saturday, October 15, 2005

another week...

It has been a busy week, ups and downs in many ways.
After everything, I still wanna say thank God for everything. =)

And also, very importantly, something that happened today(friday 14 oct), or rather found out, is that NAFA band's trip to Genting has been cancelled!! =) This means, that I can go for the Mighty Man 2 camp!!!! WOOOHOOO!! =D so happy. Found out at the end of band prac when we were starting to pack up, was so happy!! smsed my friend the good news right after I got back to 6th floor from theatre. HEEE!!! =D now I can ask my friends to go too! =)
I've asked one friend already, but he doesn't think he can make it. sigh. Well there's always hope that he might end up being free n wanna go, keep praying! =) Also, I can ask NAFA friends to go too! =) yeahyeahyeah... Thank God for letting me go for the camp! =) for giving me this wonderful chance to get to know you better =)

This week, I've started doing my Bible study class hw, but its been a very slow start.. only started a little little of Day 1! must be more consistent and diligent! succumbed to sleep last night...... Somehow, maybe I've gotta keep all my school work to day time, then can do this Bible study hw at night, or else I'll always be too tired once it hits 2am onwards, or perhaps even 130am.. Its like I sit down and my brain and eyes start shutting down. God please help me to plan my time better and to have the energy and diligence to do ALL my hw! school AND Bible study. And sunday school.

Thank you God for helping me through these last 3 nights of band pracs, it has been very tough, mentally. I haven't really had the time to sit down and prac the few parts I've to play yet, tomorrow's the concert. Its still like a matter of chance on certain bits. And its very mentally and emotionally tiring, strenuous rather, to be the asst 1st in school. haiz. God please help me!!! I don't want to be rude or sin because of anger, but I am weak. I don't want to complain! Its part of my job and I've got to accept it as part and parcel of everything, because it is. God please help me to do my best, and to prac my parts. I should have done that no matter what, no matter what others do, or do not do. Please give me the courage to carry on. Today's prac kicked off with a very bad start, for me. Thank God for helping me through. Don't know how else I could have survived. God please help everybody else in band too, including every person. I thank God that I've got You to lean on and count on for everything. =)

Thank God that I got the chance to talk with ShuYu on the phone just now. It was a long conversation. more than an hour. God please take care of her and help her in everyway possible. Please help that all the people I know, and those that I don't, somehow they'll come to believe in You too. I know from what You have said, that not everybody can be saved because of themselves, as for those that can be saved, please, if there's anything I can do or be use of, please use me! There have been many times when I've met situations at which I see a friend in so much need, yet I do not know how to help or what to do, so helpless. Please teach me and show me each day Your will, that I should follow only where You lead me to, and not stray from Your path or be stubborn. Please forgive me of all my sins.

Thank God for the bilingual Bible that Shu, Dot, Nat and friends at school gave me for my birthday last year. Its really useful! =) and I'm reading through the whole Bible now using that. And I use it for Bible study class and hw. =) I'm now faced with the trouble of what to do with 2 Bibles. I love my old Chinese one, and its got all my markings and stuff in it, since pri1! It holds so much memories and stuff, and I'm more familiar with it. Now, I need the bilingual one too, more rather, because everything's being taught in English now and I need to know what is said in English that I can better understand and communicate with other fellow Christian bros and sisters. And reading the English translation is also very useful because the Chinese translation sometimes contains words or phrases that I do not fully understand the meaning of, but when in English, I can understand the point better, and also, there are times when the English and Chinese meaning are different, and reading both gives me a better idea of what He is trying to tell us. Also, knowing the Bible in English enables me to share with non-Chinese friends and friends who are less familiar with Chinese.
ok I can always transfer the quotes and markings, and finally, I'll need a new Bible skin for this bilingual Bible to protect it from totally becoming rotten from carrying it around. Right now I'm using the original box that it came in as my birthday present, and the box is getting really squashed and it often opens, and the box takes up more space. Once I've done all that, which I must soon, I can carry just 1 Bible around. Have been carrying both around these past few days, week... ha...

Just now on the phone with ShuYu, she commented that I'm speaking more Chinese nowadays during conversation, much more. I guess that's because I'm becoming more aware of my roots and am learning to appreciate it more. I love Chinese anyway. =) Its a beautiful language to speak and listen to.

ok its very late now, 3:13am, dad has come out a few times to ask me to go to bed already. I'll do some of the Bible study class hw then go to sleep.

One very important thing today, today's Daily Bread entry is a reminder to me about spreading the Gospel. We can do our part by sharing and all, but after doing what we can, we must always remember that it is God who puts the final touches to change a person.
Firstly, it is a reminder "To Tell The Truth", as the title says.
The reading is from 2 Corinthians 4:3-7
The quoted verse is
We do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord.
-- 2 Corinthians 4:5

The entry tells about evangelism that shoves the Gospel into people's faces, turning people away instead. It is a reminder to speak only of the truth, what God has told us, only about Him.
The last paragraph says...
"Evangelism is simpleysharing with others what we know about Jesus. "We do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord" (2 Corinthians 4:5). No tricks. No deception. Speak the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth--in love. Then leave the results with God."
I feel that the last sentence speaks to me the most. I should always remember that everything lies in Him, and that I should always leave the results with God. Not that I should be lazy or slack on what I can or should do, but to do my best and then leave the rest with Him. Like today's poem quote says..
It's not our task to force God's truth
On those who may the truth detest,
But we are asked to share Christ's love
And let God's Spirit do the rest.
--D. De Haan

This is something that I've gotta learn, to let go and let God. I always keep holding on stubbornly refusing to let go of things. Perhaps my trouble with which Bible to use is also like this in some way? I know that I need the bilingual Bible now, because of growth, need to grow, and also change in times, yet I keep holding on to my old Chinese Bible.
Question: to tell the truth, as in based on the Bible, would be to tell the Gospel as it is, about just God, Jesus, only? What about telling the truth about how He has worked in my life, sharing. I think we need a balance of both, but how to tell. The verse says "We do not preach ourselves", does that mean that we shouldn't speak about ourselves, as in including our own experiences? That doesn't seem to be the right meaning leh... 'cause we're supposed to share arn't we? as in not about us ourselves, but Him through us.

Life may be tough, but He is the toughest, and He will see us through our journey on Earth, preparing us for Heaven =) I want to be among those saved and standing on Judgement Day. God please help me.

Ok now is the time when my brain starts, IS shutting down. 3:41am
goodnight, will write more again soon. Thank God for everything. =) Please help me to grow in Your Word each day =)

Saturday, October 08, 2005

today's Family Worship

Just now during family worship, dad did the sharing. It was about...
(got this from his notes and added abit)

The Law of Potential

1. Potential -- unexposed ability, hidden power one can do, but has not yet done.
提摩太后书 2 Timothy 4:6
Paul used his potential to the fullest.

2. God is the source of all potential.
(He is...)
- Omnipresent [is everywhere]
- Omniscent [knows all]
- Omnipotent [has all power]
(because of above 3 points), hence all things are possible with God.
In 创世记 Genesis 1:1, God created.

3. Everything in life came from a "seed-thought", 一个出发点. (doesn't literally mean a seed of
thought?)
Like how a tiny spark can start a great fire.

4. Nothing potentially great in life is ever instant.
It takes times to realise.
Can be from ideas, dreams, visions, concepts, imaginations.
希伯来书 Hebrew 3:11 (<-- can't figure out the connection of this verse at the moment, gonna ask Dad again)

5. Potential is released by hardworks.
We are created to work -- Adam was given tasks [创世记 Genesis 1:4-5]

6. To maximise potential, we have to use to the max of our capacity, do our best.
歌林多前书 1 Corinthians 2:9 -- to discover the purpose God has for you, His plans.

7. Constant comparison can harm one's potential.
True success is in what you have performed(done, acomplished).
But to be the best I can be. Like Paul 加拉太书 Galatians 6:4.

8. Past experience can hinder Faith and harm potential.
创 Gen 2:16

9. To maximise potential, I need to obey the Lord's Law of Limitation for me.
(all potential has a limit)
Potential is meant to bless and not to harm.
Therefore we need the guide of the Holy Spirit.

10. Potential is maximised when you share it with others.
[Being single is not equal to being alone.]

That's what Dad shared with us today.

I'm really tired now, must go to sleep, totally dozing off.
Thank God for letting me hear my alarm this morning, or rather at 12pm. Thank God for the time spent during lunch with Mum, Dad and Ai, and that Dad gave me a lift to MacRitchie bus stop. Saw 2 Christian Chinese guys talking and listened, thank God for the reminder to not be selfish, in actions and prayer, but to pray for others and pray to be able to help others. Thank God for bringing me safely to school today, and that I had the chance to do some of the History GW with FongYee. God please help us to put in our best effort and do the best that we can, despite obsticles like poor understanding of the language/info given or poor analytical skills/understanding, overcoming them. Thank God for letting me understand the english language a little better that I can do something to help in this area of understanding the handouts/notes. Please help me when I'm confused or don't understand. Thank God that Composition and Orchestration lectures went well today. Thank God very much that after "balloting" for our Compo assignment submission dates, I got the latest one, 26 Oct. Please help me to start doing my work early that I should not rush at the last minute, and please God give me the inspiration to know what to write. Thank God too that I had the chance to have dinner with Vanessa and Yiwei, spent time together talking while eating. Thank God that PLCMC Orch tonight was ok, improved my playing on some parts, and thank God that I got to do some warm up and prac the Animato part a little. Thank God for the prata supper, yummy! =) Thank God for the Family Worship time together. =) Thank God for everything! =)

ok really shall go to sleep now. 3:24am. goodnight =)

To those who are reading this:
Take care and God bless you always =)

Friday, October 07, 2005

Thank You God for This Day...

Thank You God for This Day...

Thank You God for this day,
its meant for me to thank You.
Thank You God for saving me,
from my sins I can be free,
thank You Jesus Christ!

Thank You for Your love and care,
I can talk to You through a prayer.
From Your precious promises I can depend,
thank You God for You!

=)

Title:

I don't like writing titles.

Its funny how I always seem to get more confused at night. Probably because that's the time when its quieter and I have more mental room to think and think and think and think too much. It seems like having a blog makes me think more. Writing down your thoughts makes you think more. Well this isn't something new. Its an old fact.

Here's a website that mum emailed to me. Wanna share it here, as a Christian, its very encouraging and very nicely done too. The song is sung in Korean(i think), but the words are in English.
http://www.donghaeng.net/english/duty/duty.swf
I guess one can never have enough reminders of this kind, spiritual.

Told SM about my blog again just now. After looking, he commented that its kinda religious. Well it isn't about being religious, because I really do feel this way, that thank God for everything! And after reading Shu's latest blog entry just now, all the more so! That His timing is always perfect. Even now, there are many things that my mind seeks to question and ponder, that I yearn for, but at least I know that He is always there and that in His time, everything is planned. Think of the song "In His Time", He truly made things beautiful. All things beautiful. I don't want to say but, but people will say, what about all the horrible things that are happening now? Say, the starving people in the 3rd world countries, the innocents harmed/killed... etc. I feel sad for all this too, but somehow God knows what He is doing, and all I can do is to keep on trusting, and to keep on trying to stay trustful. God please help me, I don't want to lose grip on You. You are my only hope in life, and You are the one who has kept me alive all this time, giving me all that I need at any particular time or situation in my life just perfectly so, so that I should still be here today as who I am today. I must remember that He has different plans for each person and that I shouldn't always compare myself with others the way I do. Like in Shu's latest blog entry, she mentioned about His perfect timing of some of the people she has met. For me, I feel more of His perfect timing in the events, incidents, that have taken place in my life. Of course it doesn't mean that He has done any less in the area of the people I've met, its just that different people, different experiences. And even in this events, incidents etc, there were always people involved.

Its just so exhausting to write and think like this.

I want to thank God that I've cleared all my dued Harmony hw! =)
About Aural hw, turned out that Mr Lim hadn't assigned us any in particular, just said to revise which certain units. Thank God for that, and that although I was late for Aural, class hadn't started proper yet, just done taking attendance, so didn't miss much.
Thank God that I've had the chance to read at least 1 chapter of the Bible in school these past few days. Please help me to keep it up, stick to my commitment! And balance my time well.

I'm tired, but happy. That's with school life, music/band and involvement in church etc. But I'm sad that I don't spend enough time on my friends, at least I feel like I'm neglecting them. Even just those that are closer and those that I've a more individual friendship with. When I see how others can still put so much time into their friendships, I feel like I'm a failure at being a friend. Is it because I've got so many people on my mind? Hey others have lots of people and things on their mind too, some alot more than YOU! (talking to myself) God, please give me the love to be a friend to my friends and all those around me, to help and do good whenever I can, and to place others before myself. Is this what my friend meant when he made that comment? Am I really so? Or is it that I'm just lazy and horrible at handling my time. No, I'm trying to be hardworking, really! Some people in school say that I am, but am I, really? I stay in school until it closes, most days, including SUNDAYs, except on fridays when there's PLCMC orch prac, or there's rehearsal at church, or after school concerts, etc. I try to make it a point to spend the first half my saturday at home, spend time with family and be at home. Home is not my hotel where I come back to sleep after spending the whole waking day in school, or worse continue to do more work after a whole day of work. I'm not teaching or having much outside commitments, yet I spend almost all my daylight time, including nights, in school, or around school. Even when it seems that I prac alot of the time when not having classes, often it doesn't amount to more than 3hours a day. Its weird.
I don't want the devil to take hold of me. I want to stay as far away from sin as possible. God please help me. I don't think that I'm spouting what is untrue about my feelings just to "show" people. I really do feel this way. I'm weird when put alongside most people. I've yet to meet someone like me. Of course, everybody's different whaattt...

I want to say thank God again! =) Even just saying that feels nice =) Thank God for giving me a faithful Christian friend that I can talk to at night, as in late. Thank God for many things and incidents in which this friend has played an important role. Somehow, there's something curious, its like my friend sometimes doesn't seem to see half the stuff that I've typed(talking on msn), or just replies to half of what I've said, or rather the later lines that I've typed. There are times when I just feel I need to say it out to someone, as in a human person, having somebody give a reply, something visible or audible. It seems like I talk but only get half a response. Yet my friend really does seem like a sincere person. Maybe its just blur. This friend does look blur sometimes. I'm very blur myself, so I guess that must be the case.

Thank God for Dot, Shu, Nat, and everybody else at school, especially my Christian friends and schoolmates. =) Perhaps we can start some campus fellowship or something? Like what other colleges and universities have? It would be good wouldn't it? We tried a Bible study once, but it lasted barely a couple of weeks.

Thank God that although I was late for Harmony project meeting this morning(thurs), my group members were nice about it and didn't be mean about it. God, please help me in everything. A group leader ought not be leaving others to do the work, he/she ought to be setting an example! Not like what I've done so far. I've become very lagging in my work. At least I've finished all my due Harmony hw now, today got 1 new HW question that's all. Must buck up!

Thank God for all the time I had to prac today, and go to Esplanade to listen to the String Ensemble's performance in the evening, and at least caught the last 2pieces, only missed the first. And that I had friends to go with. It is a perverted world, and my own mind has been polluted too, God please cleanse me and help me to think only of what You want me to think and ponder, not to be influenced by the perversion of this world. Please forgive me for the times when my mind has wandered askew.
Thank God for helping me cover all of F min today =) 2 scales down! =) And that when I praced the Strauss after 1week of break from it, it wasn't too bad. =) Please help me not to be complacent, but to work hard and strive to do better, and in all things to glorify Your name. =)

This is called free writing. I have been writing my thoughts as they came and as I recalled of today. I just wanna say thank God for everything today, I can't recall everything in the blink of an eye immediately now, so I'll just say really thank God for bringing me through another day! =) I honestly don't know what I'd do without You. I can see others who don't know You, and I'm so happy for what I have. Please help that all the other people can some to know You too and be saved and experience Your indescribable Love and Peace. =) Indeed, Your children are so blessed! =)

4:12am. Gonna do quiet time and sleep. =) Thank God for watching over me even when I'm asleep, and for letting me hear my alarm more now. I had woken up this morning from mum's call and my alarm, but had let myself go back to sleep cos of tired(EXCUSE!!), thus was late.

To those who are reading this:
Take care and God bless you always =)

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

hmmm... thank God again! haha =D

Aha I'm here again. In the middle of the week too. I'm supposed to be doing Aural HW now, but realised that I didn't write down this week HW! Don't know what we're supposed to do, and at this time, there's hardly anybody to ask. Of the 3 people I asked, only 1 replied and he doesn't know, ha, so not very useful. Must remember to always write down my HW!

I want to thank God for safely bringing me through the last few days, and that despite being on the verge of having migraine outburst again, I survived! really thank God! And what's more, I didn't have to go for NAFA orchestra prac last night because they weren't rehearsing 1 piece im playing, so could go home earlier, and even better, with Dot, and Hui'en to the bus stop.

2:00am, WOO.. ITS RAINING!! =) shiok. I should sleep soon, don't want to be late for school tomorrow.

Sunday 2 October 2005
thank God that although I stayed up really late

[wow blogger's pretty good! internet browser just had prob and had to end program again, but blogger managed to save what I'd typed half way and recover the post! great! THANK GOD! =)]

As I was saying, Thank God that although I stayed up really late, doing stuff, I think was it History horn presentation? then doing the photos for the black paper for Marie and family, and only slept around 4am, I woke up around 8am when mum called me! Had time to shower and rushed to redo and reprint the photos that turned out farnie on Hui's computer as her powerpoint was an older version. Thank God for that! and that I finally finished the black paper and passed it to XiaoWan at the end of Mus'art prac.
Thank God very very much that I stayed awake during the sermon! all of it! =D managed to copy notes and learn and remember some stuff. Missed the last bit of the conclusion as I was listening and it was flashed quickly, but am still very happy about being able to stay awake and concentrate enough to listen, learn and understand! =) Thank God.
这个星期的证道是:“洪水的审判
讲员:洪牧师

引言

最近发生的灾难:
> 海啸 tsunami
> 飓风 typhoon (Katrina)
> 新奥尔良水灾 (New Orleans)

信息:
  1. 洪水: > 不是一般的水灾
    > 带来很大的影响
    > 旧的时代的结束
    what happened in 挪亚 aka Noah's time: because of 创世记 Genesis 6:5, --> result in 创 Gen 6:7
  2. 拯救: > 彼得后书 2Peter 6:5
    - the righteous (Noah) saved
    - God retained the good (Noah) so that news/knowledge about God can be spread
    again.
    > 神的预备: 希伯来书 Hebrews 11:7
    - 七对, seven pairs of, 洁净的畜类 --> 可用来献祭
    - 七对不洁净的畜类 --> shows that God is merciful, still saves all, everything.
  3. 恩典: 神为什么单单救了挪亚
    Because:
    > 创 Gen 6:8-9 --> 他是个义人
    > 创 Gen 7:5 --> 他有信心obedience
    - 建方舟不容易, 但是挪亚还是听从,去行。
    > 他传讲神的道

Evidence of Noah's history in Chinese language: 船 character is made up of = 舟 aka boat + 八 aka eight + 口 mouth, representing people.[to find out more about Chinese language's relation to Biblical history, see previous post on Ancient Chinese Language Related to Bible]

总结

> 邪恶时代 . . . .

That's all I managed to jot down. There's 3 points in the conclusion, didn't quite catch because he went quite fast. Its about how our present times are evil, that we should beware, the end times are near, shown by all the prophecies of catastrophies and natural disasters and other evil deeds happening in our time, about God and floods/water's connection.
Got me thinking again about how many people there are who haven't been saved. sigh. 加油! God please help us who call ourselves Christians to grow in You each day, in Faith and maturity, spiritually, that others may see from our actions and words that You are truly God and that they will believe in You too.

Just wanna thank God so much for keeping me safe and always being there for me, in times of difficulties and through my joys. =) Thank God that I survived being the only horn player at Mus'art today(sunday). Thank God that I got to prac at night.

Thank God that PS on Monday 3 October 2005 was ok. I'm going to finish this second course of scales, all on F horn, meaning I'll have to go on to the 3rd course of it which is everything, all the semiquavers at crotchet=120! ah! very fasT! God please help me. At least by the end of the coming 3rd course my tongueing, accuracy, finger-tongue-lips coordination, and technique in this area should be much better! ha. God please please help me. THANKS! =)
Also thank God that I managed to play ok for band, and finally turned up for my own History tutorial timeslot! was still late, very late, reached 10:40am, but thank God that the bus came just after I reached the bus stop and it was fast! took only 20mins to reach school =) Thank God indeed! =)

There's just so much that happens within a day that I can't possibly say thank You enough times. Thank God for that =)

Today the most prominent things that I wanna thank for are that:

  • Didn't miss much of Harmony although I was late as Mr Yap was giving out our test papers! AND I PASSED!! 50/100! TOTALLY FORTUNATE! got exactly 15/30 for part A and 35/70 for part B! How fortunate is that?!?!?! Really a miracle!!=) THANK GOD!! HOORAY!! haha.. =p
  • Had a very filling lunch, brought lots of food today =p, and most importantly, I've started a new commitment, to read through the whole of the Bible. Will read a chapter or two each day. Started during lunch, read while eating at the staircase beside the cargo lift. And the best thing is that I'm reading from my bilingual Bible! =D
  • Thank God that I cleared my file and organised some History and Harmony stuff today. I'm sorry that I complained so much about my files being too thin and watever else and complaining about having no file to use for portfolio submission. Should have prayed instead. Will remember more! God please help me to always be grateful and not complain so much. Thanks! =)
  • Thank God that I praced my F# min scale today, and Kopprasch etude no.16! Was very disappointed with my horrible tongueing and tongue-finger coordination at first, but was better after the last break. Really thank God for helping me keep from getting overly looking down on myself and feeling horrible again. Thank God that I got to chat with Alan instead =)

Thank God for helping me see more joy in everyday life, and to learn to look more on the bright side rather than wallow in the negative and sad things that happen, and for giving me peace within myself.

God today something bad happened. There was a fight between 2 guys outside the vegetarian restaurant around late afternoon-evening time. 2 of my friends were there and were unfortunately involved. From what I heard, one was splattered with blood from the stab victim, and the other's cup of hot drink was used forcefully on the stabber. Heard the scene was really messy with blood and all, and that the stab victim was across the street sitting outside mega foodcourt shaking and dripping with blood. Must have been horribly gruesome. Such horrible things keep appearing in the news on tv and papers, and now this one has hit so close to home. God, certainly 世界末日要到了,求祢帮助我们在这些日子里能够坚强,勇敢,不要因世界的丑事而灰心,乃要继续传扬祢的福音,更加警跟这祢,阅读和听从祢的话语。So many things to be careful of! Please help us God! for we are weak and need You. Musn't give up!

ok must go to sleep now. 3:22am. SLEEP! I'm sorry that I can't do my Aural hw because I don't know what we're supposed to do. I promise that I'll be more attentive in the future and always write down and remember to do.

To those who are reading this:
Take care and God bless you always =)

Sunday, October 02, 2005

thank God for everything! im happy =D

Just happy. =D =D =D
Yesterday and today have been happy days with happy things happening. =)

Yesterday (30 September 2005 Friday) I wanted to blog, but blogger was down for very long, more than the 1 hour its notice for maintenance said, so I'm writing for both yesterday and today now.

Firstly, I'm very happy today! =) haha. Came back from tonight's Elijah concert with dad, enjoyed it! was great! =) ahhh... it was very enjoyable in many ways, haha. Of course there were the usual less-likeable-audience, but there were other happy things that happened, apart from the music, so I still enjoyed it very much =p Oh and dad got to meet Jamie at last! haha. and Jamie got to meet dad. keke.

hmm.. my friend just went offline, its been awhile already, and my friend often says something, that makes me unsure what to think. The thing is, I have a very good imagination, haha, but then again, it could be just nothing. Oh well. Well, what I CAN do, is to keep praying and hopefully God will, I mean of cos He will, show us all His way someday, that we'll come to understand, at least part of it, that we may all be able to live life more easily, as in mentally, knowing that truly God is God. =) I mean I know already that God is God, but we're all weak, including me, and constantly need reminders, so thank God for always reminding us. =)

ok back to yesterday, friday. Well, I got to go back to ATSB yesterday afternoon, but even that, such a happy chance, isn't the best part of friday. The best part was really Timothy cell group at night, at XinLiang's place. It was really quite a long session, we did alot of sharing, and I think YunYuan did a great job of leading the session. Thank God for her and JieYing's efforts to get everything in order, the powerpoint presentation and everything. Enjoyed it very much, needed it very much too. Was also quite a realisation session for me too. Firstly that, hey I've really wronged these guys(& girls, not all, just 1 or 2), they do really have many struggles with their spiritual lives, not that they don't really care. That what I've seen of them from the outside isn't really what's happening on the inside. There's more ways than one to use the phrase "don't judge a book by its cover", and well, in this case, its that the inside is really much better than the cover., something I was very glad to find out. Secondly, and even more impactfully to me, that I've been blinding myself the whole time, being stubborn and all, telling myself that I totally can't click with these guys, looking only at the superficial stuff like my interests in music and theirs of other things. The truth is that we're all connected together because we're all part of one big family, brothers and sisters in Christ, and that is the most important link between all of us, yet I had been so blind and stubborn as to not see that. Thank God very very much for last night's cell group, was very important to me and I really wanna thank God for planning everything, that PLCMC Orch prac was cancelled so I could go for cell group. That because 提摩太 was on friday so I could go for the Elijah concert today in peace without the worry of having missed 提摩太.
Most of friday, day time, can be summed up in what I wrote during cell group. (we were each given a piece of blank A4 white paper to write how we were feeling today, as in on friday) Here's what I wrote:
Hello! I am feeling happy today, because I had the chance to go back to Ai Tong Band and help out. First thing today, I heard my alarm and woke up!! =) Miracle! Since today's PLCMC Orch prac was cancelled, I can come for 提摩太 today, and can go for Elijah concert tomorrow night in peace! Thank God that I didn't get too wet from e rain today, and it wasn't raining around school. No Orchestration & Composition lectures today because my teacher is having reservice, very free today, could prac during e usual lecture time.

That was my friday, oh and thank God for this paper that I've just remembered another very important thing that happened on friday, I heard my alarm and WOKE UP!! Truly a MIRACLE! =) THANK GOD! =) Hope this is the start to being more punctual in the mornings, for school especially, and church and everything else. Also, on the way home from 提摩太, was on the same bus as LingFeng and AiJia, so got to chat with them while waiting for the bus and during the bus ride. Wasn't long, but I'm glad it happened, feel more with the 提摩太 people already. I really ostracise myself too much.

ok now to today, wait one more thing first, last night's quiet time.
Friday's entry in Daily Bread was titled "A Great Mystery". Its about the mystery of what becomes of us, where we go to, after our temporary life on Earth is over, after our bodies die. The verse is from 路加福音 Luke 16:19-31, about the parable of the rich man and the beggar Lazarus. It got me thinking again about people around us who have yet to know God and accept Jesus as their Saviour, what horrible Hell is installed for them if they do not accept Jesus, of the many countless people who are dying each day, each second. Oh and especially during Family Worship before that, I was reminded of how many people still arn't saved, especially those around me, us, and how much more Christian work we have to do. How very important it is that we read God's Word each day, learn to be more like Jesus, that we may show others about our God, because only then can they get to know Him, its OUR responsibility and our part in this quest. Of course the final leap of faith and all is by God's grace, as in that He had already saved us and forgiven us by His wonderful Grace, and that we are already saved by this wonderful Grace of His, but we've still gotta each accept Him personally. And there's something that we've gotta do, to let others know about this Good News. One of the paragraphs in the Daily Bread entry was: "Those of us who have watched in sadness as someone close to us had died may wonder about their new existence. Our hearts ache to know what they are doing or where they are." Then comes the crucial part, "If they had trusted Jesus Christ as Savior, we know that they are in heaven, But for now, a veil separates us from our beloved ones and we cannot see behind it."somebody just talked to me! O_O =D 1:52am Even though we are temporarily separated from our beloved ones, who had trusted Jesus Christ as Savior, for now as we do not know what its really like because we haven't been there, we know that they are safe and all, but what about those who hadn't trusted in Him, or worse, not even gotten the chance to hear about Him. HORRIBLE. argh. God please help us all. Its like talking to myself, writing here. Its quite gruelling to be drumming all this into my own brain. Argh, all I wanna say, is that I really wanna do something to help people, I'm trying, but I feel that I want to do more, that there's so much more that I ought to do, for example simply be one time/early for school. That bit's getting better now, more punctual than in the past, but still lotsa room for improvement, and my History HW is like totally behind. Must buck up! Taking a break from Mus'art prac tml, sunday, gonna go to school after 阳光合唱团 to prac and do work. Asked Tim about it and he said it was alright not to go for Mus'art prac, as in that we've gotta weigh our priorities, which really is true, and I haven't missed any pracs so far except for when, erm can't really remember, but think I did miss, that time had something from school at the same time as Mus'art prac, can't remember at the moment. I'm trying to be a living example, God please help me. There have been many times when my friends asked me questions about Christianity, spiritual stuff and all, I've tried to answer them, but I worry that I'd given them wrong information or the wrong idea because I could not express myself well enough with words, or that I had misunderstood what I had learnt and was telling them the wrong things. Please teach me to be wise and discerning. Thank God for always being there for me, giving me friends to help me in time of spiritual need, like Dot and Weifu. Right now, 2:08am, I'm talking to another friend, and my friend's telling me about a conversation that occured earlier between my friend and somebody else, a non-believer from what I gather. God please help me to help my friend, teach me to have a listening ear, to show others Your Love, comfort them and share Your wisdom with them.

ok I shall stop blogging here today. Concentrate on my conversation with my friend, then gotta go shower and sleep. Its early sunday morning already. And thank God very much for giving me the chance to continue playing in church's main service during 进殿. For providing me with this reminder to wake up early for church. =) THANK GOD! for giving me this chance to serve in my own church with music and my horn! =) the things that You have given to me, I am now able to give back. =) and I MUST prac the pieces that 洪传道 assigned for this week.
2:16am

To those who are reading this:
Take care and God bless you always =)

2:20am ok I've come back to add something about today. Had lunch at home, went to ICA to collect my new passport, then went to sit in as observer for CNL's rehearsal. Fortunately met Colin outside the building, across the road from it actually, so didn't get lost finding the place. He asked me to go, saying that he really felt that it would be of help or some inspiration to me spiritually. Of course, I learnt more stuff about music and different way of bringing across what I wanna say, as from a teacher to student point, Ralph Hultgren's really good. Thank God. And another thing, more impactful, that I realised, was that somehow, while in the room where their rehearsal was held at, I could somehow feel this sense of clearness, its like you don't feel cramped or suffocated. As in, it wasn't a physical surrounding thing, more of something inside. And come to think of it, normally I'd feel very paranoid, or at least somewhat paranoid or my usual phobia acting up when I'm left alone in a unfamiliar place where people all know each other, but I didn't feel paranoid today, and it didn't make any difference that I knew some of the people there because of Mus'art, because normally I'd still feel paranoid and scared sitting alone. I'm not really sure how that was, but it certainly was something different, a spiritual thing like Colin said perhaps? But that got me interested in CNL. Colin did ask me to join them during their next concert season, I don't know if I can cos it starts in Dec to March, and I've got commitment to other bands/groups already, PLCMC Orch and Mus'art, and lots of work to do n prac. Whatever it is, God will make a way. And also, I do not want to offend my other friend who had some unhappy experiences there. God please show me Your way. Lastly, the CNL environment just felt different from Mus'art, I don't mean physically as in the prac place etc, but the inner feeling when you're there, spiritual? calmer? Its something new to me, but im interested. A new place. Thank God for this afternoon's experience, and that I got to prac abit in school after that. =)