God please help me, thank You.

You know, right now I'm feeling so helpless again. Quite. Like that something that's digging into me, that is searching for something. Don't know how to put it into words, but its that digging feeling inside again. I wish my friends could read this that somehow they could help me in my spiritual life. Everybody's so busy nowadays. Thank God for all the time that we still have, especially the meals I've been having with Dot, Shu, Nat, Hui'en, Ryan, etc these couple of days.

Most importantly, I want to thank God for having helped me over one big hurdle in school. I've played for brass platform and it was ok!! =) The few days before that were very not ok, particularly health-wise. But through it all, God was always there for me and giving me constant reminders. Thank God indeed for music and songs, another way of reminder.

This particular song has been accompanying me these few days, and its really really meaningful. Sang it during Praise and Worship on Sunday's service(25 September 2005). Really thank God for everything. =)

上帝的儿女何等有福

在压力中，仍能平静
在忙碌中，仍能悠闲
在失败中，仍能欢笑
在逼迫中，仍能屹立
上帝的儿女何等有福

有福，有福
上帝的儿女何等有福
有福，有福
上帝的儿女何等有福

在绝望中，仍有盼望
在冷漠中，仍有关怀
在困境中，仍有出路
在死亡中，仍有生命
上帝的儿女何等有福

有福，有福
上帝的儿女何等有福
有福，有福
上帝的儿女何等有福

Another reason why I really hope my friends can read this is that, somehow I just constantly feel this urge to talk about our spiritual life, stuff from the Bible, etc. Also, my interest in like Christian events around Singapore have grown. As in like, the Mighty Man 2 camp Hui told me of on sunday, the 得胜之歌 at QTMC that Yibin told me about, the Bible study class that he also told me about, FOP earlier on, etc. including performances of biblical related works, eg Handel's Messiah on dvd and more recently, Mendelssohn's Elijah this coming saturday. So far I've told some people, Dot, Shu, Tejay n Hui etc bout the Bible study class, but they're all either occupied with other cell group or bible study activities of their own already, or busy with work/school etc. There hasn't been anybody I can really talk with about all this. Or perhaps its just that I want to talk with certain persons. Foolish thoughts. But it is true that so far, I've only had the chance to mention to them about the events/things, or at most say a bit more about it, but that's all. Otherwise if we are talking, its usually about school, work(homework), music, people in school, etc. Yeah there are times when we mention about spiritual life and all, but not much when we're together. What I normally read of, now that is, is from Shu's blog. Thank God for that though. =) Its really a new reminder, new lesson learnt, each time I visit her blog. =) God please help her in her spiritual life, that she should always be steadfast, and help her in her weaknesses, show Yourself whole through our weaknesses, that others may come to believe in You too, and experience Your great Love. =)

Just took out my Bible 'cause wanna write about Sunday's sermon, and saw the green slipper handphone chain that Dot gave me for my birthday. I've attached it to the zip on my Bible case, and the "R" that came with it is on my handphone. The green slipper is a reminder of Jesus's footsteps, one that brings eternal life(represented by green), to everybody, and that I should, and want to, and must always remember to follow in His footsteps. =) Only then can I live life to the fullest, by seeking God each day, which reminds me of the song 每一日, Day by Day. Something that I should always keep close to heart, an inspiration for my aspiration. The "R" on my handphone is supposed to be my name, Ruth, it not only reminds me of the Biblical character Ruth who was very loyal and faithful to Naomi and God, that I should learn from her loyalty and faith, also that "R" is for "Redeemer", that my Redeemer lives! =) I always try to make a connection between the physical and material things that I have, with God's word or characteristics and promises, making reminders out of my things, surrounding myself with God. In a world like ours today, we need to arm ourselves with His Word, something that I learnt more of from the Bible study class last tuesday, the last of the Colossians course. Must ask Cecilia for the notes. That's what God wants us to do right? As in to live in His Word each day, striving to follow Him and to be closer to Him. Especially since I know that I'm weak and need constant reminder and help.

Ok, here's what I wanna share about sunday's sermon.
It was by Dr Rev Clarence Lim, 林金成 牧师。主题：It Only Takes A Spark.
This sermon was special, well first and foremost, because it was delivered in English with Jenny as Chinese translater. I guess we were all pretty surprised, especially since he was quite an old pastor, so we probably thought he'd be very Chinese-ish. Anyway, the main point is that the impact of the sermon was still there.

Verses used are:
约翰福音 1 章 40－45 节, (John 1:40-45)
and
罗马书 10 章 11－15 节 (Romans 10:11-15)
He highlighted and quoted many other verses during the sermon.

• 罗 10:14－15 ，告诉我们为什么要传福音
  Romans 10:11-15 tells us why we should spread the Gospel
  Only when we tell others, share, that others can know about Christ, Saviour.
  eg. > 约 John 1:41 - Andrew told his brother Simon
  > 约 John 1:45 - Philip told Nathaniel
  Also, at 马可福音 Mark 6:7, Jesus sent out His 12 disciples, 门徒.
• Then there's "Where?" 在哪里传福音？

ok honestly, I think my drowsiness must have gotten the better of me, and Rev Lim was going quite fast, so was busy flipping the Bible, listening and reading what was on the powerpoint slide, more than writing down notes.

But I believe that as to "Where?", it should be everywhere, whenever we get the chance to. For truly, out God is a great God, the Only God, and we've experienced his great Love, and like the song It Only Takes A Spark says: that's how it is with God's Love, once you've experienced it, you'll want to share with everyone, you'll want to pass it on.

It will really become something that you voluntarily want to do, something that you feel that you HAVE to do, the URGE to do. That's how I feel now. The sermon was a really loud reminder to me about the countless others out there who have yet to know about Jesus and be saved, especially those people that I know, including close friends.

God please help that they will get to know you soon and that they too will be saved. Please use me as Your tool, Your servant, for your plans. Please teach me to be willing of heart, and teachable, to learn all that You have install for me.

I believe that sharing with people about Jesus and God's great Love, isn't just going around talking about the Gospel or about Jesus and God. Its about showing with actions. This reminds me of the Daily Bread entry for 8 September 2005, titled "A Helping Hand". The verse is from 路加福音 Luke 5：17－26. It is the story of Jesus healing the paralysed man, 治好瘫子. Briefly, it is about a paralysed man whose 4 friends heard about Jesus and His miracles, and that He was nearby, so they carried their paralysed friend on a mat all the way to the house where Jesus was staying at. Upon reaching, they found the house to be overcrowded with people and that they could not enter through the door. Nevertheless determined to help their friend, they carried him onto the roof, and removed the tiles on the roof, creating a hole big enough to lower their friend down to Jesus, and Jesus cured the paralysed man. This friend who was paralysed, was given the chance to know Jesus through the loving actions of his friends. From this, he believed and was saved, both his soul and body, and went home glorifying God.
The Daily Bread entry's story itself is about how a college student who was really down in life at that time, was helped by a Christian friend time and again. Eventually she asked her Christian friend why they did all this for her, and her Christian friend was able to tell her about the love of Jesus, thus sharing the Gospel.
The verse quoted was:
那将要灰心，离弃全能者，不敬畏 神的人，他的朋友，当以慈爱待他。
To him who is afflicted, kindness should be shown by his friend.
- 约伯记 Job 6:14
The Chinese version says to show kindness to those who are spiritually in need of help, I believe that we should help whoever may be in any kind of need, as long as it is within our means, even if it means sacrificing a little time or comfort, and it is righteous and not something indecent or unlawful in God's eyes. And even if we cannot physically do anything to help, we should always pray for them, and at the very least offer a warm smile or hello when we do meet them, that they should know that they are not forgotten.
[Not long ago a friend shared with me about how he hadn't actually shared/spoke about the Gospel since a certain chance to do so many weeks ago. Well, just wanna tell him that I feel that its not just about the actual telling of the Gospel, but of showing through our daily actions and lives love for others, His love, then we'll eventually get the chance to share with them about the Gospel itself, through God's own perfect planning.]
It is difficult, if not impossible to like everybody that we meet, everybody knows that, but what we can do, is to try to still be nice and kind towards people no matter what differences we have against them. This is what I think, 'cause Jesus certainly didn't turn on the people who were mean to Him and harmed Him, especially people that others felt were unlovable, and I guess He must have disliked having all those horrible stuff done to Him, yet He loved the people, every one of us, and sacrificed Himself willingly, and was not unkind to them. God was with Him all the way.

God please help me, because sometimes I say things, like now, about what I've read or learnt fromYour Word, but I am not always fully sure if I'm saying them right. I most certainly do not want to mislead anybody, yet I am fully aware now, after Cecilia's Bible study class, that the devil is always out to harm us, and he can jolly well make us doubt ourselves. Thank God for Weifu reminding me about that. God please help me. You said that should we have any questions or doubts about life or anything, always refer to the Bible for answers, they're all there. Yes they are all there, of course! but sometimes I read and do not fully understand. Please help me and enlighten me. I guess this is where fellowship with others and Bible study together is needed right? God please help me. Thank You for leading me to where I am now, please continue to help me, and renew my faith in You each day, that my faith in You should grow stronger each day, that I may know you more each day, like the lyrics of Day by Day, that I should seek You more clearly, love You more dearly, and follow You more nearly. Please help me to never be proud. Never is a difficult word to use, because I am weak, but with You, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! 我靠着那加给我力量的，凡事都能作！-腓立比书 4 章 13 节 (Philippians 4:13) He will help me to do wrong less, and right more! =)

ok it is getting really late, aka early in the morning, 3:08am currently. I should be more obedient to my parents and sleep earlier, so I really had better go to sleep now. Dad's already come out just now. Don't want to have ma or pa having to come out again.

Oh and thank God very much that I've finished most of my harmony hw for today! hehe! only have 1 question left! =) didn't manage to hand in today's CW before Ms Karen left school though, hopefully won't have to deduct too many marks when handed in next lesson. sigh. but thank God anyway for helping me finish my work! =) And thank God for giving me the chance to talk with Renee today, and the chance to attend the open rehearsal for Elijah at Esplanade =)

To whoever's reading this:
take care and God bless you always =)

3:16am