thank God for everything! im happy =D

Just happy. =D =D =D
Yesterday and today have been happy days with happy things happening. =)

Yesterday (30 September 2005 Friday) I wanted to blog, but blogger was down for very long, more than the 1 hour its notice for maintenance said, so I'm writing for both yesterday and today now.

Firstly, I'm very happy today! =) haha. Came back from tonight's Elijah concert with dad, enjoyed it! was great! =) ahhh... it was very enjoyable in many ways, haha. Of course there were the usual less-likeable-audience, but there were other happy things that happened, apart from the music, so I still enjoyed it very much =p Oh and dad got to meet Jamie at last! haha. and Jamie got to meet dad. keke.

hmm.. my friend just went offline, its been awhile already, and my friend often says something, that makes me unsure what to think. The thing is, I have a very good imagination, haha, but then again, it could be just nothing. Oh well. Well, what I CAN do, is to keep praying and hopefully God will, I mean of cos He will, show us all His way someday, that we'll come to understand, at least part of it, that we may all be able to live life more easily, as in mentally, knowing that truly God is God. =) I mean I know already that God is God, but we're all weak, including me, and constantly need reminders, so thank God for always reminding us. =)

ok back to yesterday, friday. Well, I got to go back to ATSB yesterday afternoon, but even that, such a happy chance, isn't the best part of friday. The best part was really Timothy cell group at night, at XinLiang's place. It was really quite a long session, we did alot of sharing, and I think YunYuan did a great job of leading the session. Thank God for her and JieYing's efforts to get everything in order, the powerpoint presentation and everything. Enjoyed it very much, needed it very much too. Was also quite a realisation session for me too. Firstly that, hey I've really wronged these guys(& girls, not all, just 1 or 2), they do really have many struggles with their spiritual lives, not that they don't really care. That what I've seen of them from the outside isn't really what's happening on the inside. There's more ways than one to use the phrase "don't judge a book by its cover", and well, in this case, its that the inside is really much better than the cover., something I was very glad to find out. Secondly, and even more impactfully to me, that I've been blinding myself the whole time, being stubborn and all, telling myself that I totally can't click with these guys, looking only at the superficial stuff like my interests in music and theirs of other things. The truth is that we're all connected together because we're all part of one big family, brothers and sisters in Christ, and that is the most important link between all of us, yet I had been so blind and stubborn as to not see that. Thank God very very much for last night's cell group, was very important to me and I really wanna thank God for planning everything, that PLCMC Orch prac was cancelled so I could go for cell group. That because 提摩太 was on friday so I could go for the Elijah concert today in peace without the worry of having missed 提摩太.
Most of friday, day time, can be summed up in what I wrote during cell group. (we were each given a piece of blank A4 white paper to write how we were feeling today, as in on friday) Here's what I wrote:
Hello! I am feeling happy today, because I had the chance to go back to Ai Tong Band and help out. First thing today, I heard my alarm and woke up!! =) Miracle! Since today's PLCMC Orch prac was cancelled, I can come for 提摩太 today, and can go for Elijah concert tomorrow night in peace! Thank God that I didn't get too wet from e rain today, and it wasn't raining around school. No Orchestration & Composition lectures today because my teacher is having reservice, very free today, could prac during e usual lecture time.

That was my friday, oh and thank God for this paper that I've just remembered another very important thing that happened on friday, I heard my alarm and WOKE UP!! Truly a MIRACLE! =) THANK GOD! =) Hope this is the start to being more punctual in the mornings, for school especially, and church and everything else. Also, on the way home from 提摩太, was on the same bus as LingFeng and AiJia, so got to chat with them while waiting for the bus and during the bus ride. Wasn't long, but I'm glad it happened, feel more with the 提摩太 people already. I really ostracise myself too much.

ok now to today, wait one more thing first, last night's quiet time.
Friday's entry in Daily Bread was titled "A Great Mystery". Its about the mystery of what becomes of us, where we go to, after our temporary life on Earth is over, after our bodies die. The verse is from 路加福音 Luke 16:19-31, about the parable of the rich man and the beggar Lazarus. It got me thinking again about people around us who have yet to know God and accept Jesus as their Saviour, what horrible Hell is installed for them if they do not accept Jesus, of the many countless people who are dying each day, each second. Oh and especially during Family Worship before that, I was reminded of how many people still arn't saved, especially those around me, us, and how much more Christian work we have to do. How very important it is that we read God's Word each day, learn to be more like Jesus, that we may show others about our God, because only then can they get to know Him, its OUR responsibility and our part in this quest. Of course the final leap of faith and all is by God's grace, as in that He had already saved us and forgiven us by His wonderful Grace, and that we are already saved by this wonderful Grace of His, but we've still gotta each accept Him personally. And there's something that we've gotta do, to let others know about this Good News. One of the paragraphs in the Daily Bread entry was: "Those of us who have watched in sadness as someone close to us had died may wonder about their new existence. Our hearts ache to know what they are doing or where they are." Then comes the crucial part, "If they had trusted Jesus Christ as Savior, we know that they are in heaven, But for now, a veil separates us from our beloved ones and we cannot see behind it."somebody just talked to me! O_O =D 1:52am Even though we are temporarily separated from our beloved ones, who had trusted Jesus Christ as Savior, for now as we do not know what its really like because we haven't been there, we know that they are safe and all, but what about those who hadn't trusted in Him, or worse, not even gotten the chance to hear about Him. HORRIBLE. argh. God please help us all. Its like talking to myself, writing here. Its quite gruelling to be drumming all this into my own brain. Argh, all I wanna say, is that I really wanna do something to help people, I'm trying, but I feel that I want to do more, that there's so much more that I ought to do, for example simply be one time/early for school. That bit's getting better now, more punctual than in the past, but still lotsa room for improvement, and my History HW is like totally behind. Must buck up! Taking a break from Mus'art prac tml, sunday, gonna go to school after 阳光合唱团 to prac and do work. Asked Tim about it and he said it was alright not to go for Mus'art prac, as in that we've gotta weigh our priorities, which really is true, and I haven't missed any pracs so far except for when, erm can't really remember, but think I did miss, that time had something from school at the same time as Mus'art prac, can't remember at the moment. I'm trying to be a living example, God please help me. There have been many times when my friends asked me questions about Christianity, spiritual stuff and all, I've tried to answer them, but I worry that I'd given them wrong information or the wrong idea because I could not express myself well enough with words, or that I had misunderstood what I had learnt and was telling them the wrong things. Please teach me to be wise and discerning. Thank God for always being there for me, giving me friends to help me in time of spiritual need, like Dot and Weifu. Right now, 2:08am, I'm talking to another friend, and my friend's telling me about a conversation that occured earlier between my friend and somebody else, a non-believer from what I gather. God please help me to help my friend, teach me to have a listening ear, to show others Your Love, comfort them and share Your wisdom with them.

ok I shall stop blogging here today. Concentrate on my conversation with my friend, then gotta go shower and sleep. Its early sunday morning already. And thank God very much for giving me the chance to continue playing in church's main service during 进殿. For providing me with this reminder to wake up early for church. =) THANK GOD! for giving me this chance to serve in my own church with music and my horn! =) the things that You have given to me, I am now able to give back. =) and I MUST prac the pieces that 洪传道 assigned for this week.
2:16am

To those who are reading this:
Take care and God bless you always =)

2:20am ok I've come back to add something about today. Had lunch at home, went to ICA to collect my new passport, then went to sit in as observer for CNL's rehearsal. Fortunately met Colin outside the building, across the road from it actually, so didn't get lost finding the place. He asked me to go, saying that he really felt that it would be of help or some inspiration to me spiritually. Of course, I learnt more stuff about music and different way of bringing across what I wanna say, as from a teacher to student point, Ralph Hultgren's really good. Thank God. And another thing, more impactful, that I realised, was that somehow, while in the room where their rehearsal was held at, I could somehow feel this sense of clearness, its like you don't feel cramped or suffocated. As in, it wasn't a physical surrounding thing, more of something inside. And come to think of it, normally I'd feel very paranoid, or at least somewhat paranoid or my usual phobia acting up when I'm left alone in a unfamiliar place where people all know each other, but I didn't feel paranoid today, and it didn't make any difference that I knew some of the people there because of Mus'art, because normally I'd still feel paranoid and scared sitting alone. I'm not really sure how that was, but it certainly was something different, a spiritual thing like Colin said perhaps? But that got me interested in CNL. Colin did ask me to join them during their next concert season, I don't know if I can cos it starts in Dec to March, and I've got commitment to other bands/groups already, PLCMC Orch and Mus'art, and lots of work to do n prac. Whatever it is, God will make a way. And also, I do not want to offend my other friend who had some unhappy experiences there. God please show me Your way. Lastly, the CNL environment just felt different from Mus'art, I don't mean physically as in the prac place etc, but the inner feeling when you're there, spiritual? calmer? Its something new to me, but im interested. A new place. Thank God for this afternoon's experience, and that I got to prac abit in school after that. =)