Title:

I don't like writing titles.

Its funny how I always seem to get more confused at night. Probably because that's the time when its quieter and I have more mental room to think and think and think and think too much. It seems like having a blog makes me think more. Writing down your thoughts makes you think more. Well this isn't something new. Its an old fact.

Here's a website that mum emailed to me. Wanna share it here, as a Christian, its very encouraging and very nicely done too. The song is sung in Korean(i think), but the words are in English.
http://www.donghaeng.net/english/duty/duty.swf
I guess one can never have enough reminders of this kind, spiritual.

Told SM about my blog again just now. After looking, he commented that its kinda religious. Well it isn't about being religious, because I really do feel this way, that thank God for everything! And after reading Shu's latest blog entry just now, all the more so! That His timing is always perfect. Even now, there are many things that my mind seeks to question and ponder, that I yearn for, but at least I know that He is always there and that in His time, everything is planned. Think of the song "In His Time", He truly made things beautiful. All things beautiful. I don't want to say but, but people will say, what about all the horrible things that are happening now? Say, the starving people in the 3rd world countries, the innocents harmed/killed... etc. I feel sad for all this too, but somehow God knows what He is doing, and all I can do is to keep on trusting, and to keep on trying to stay trustful. God please help me, I don't want to lose grip on You. You are my only hope in life, and You are the one who has kept me alive all this time, giving me all that I need at any particular time or situation in my life just perfectly so, so that I should still be here today as who I am today. I must remember that He has different plans for each person and that I shouldn't always compare myself with others the way I do. Like in Shu's latest blog entry, she mentioned about His perfect timing of some of the people she has met. For me, I feel more of His perfect timing in the events, incidents, that have taken place in my life. Of course it doesn't mean that He has done any less in the area of the people I've met, its just that different people, different experiences. And even in this events, incidents etc, there were always people involved.

Its just so exhausting to write and think like this.

I want to thank God that I've cleared all my dued Harmony hw! =)
About Aural hw, turned out that Mr Lim hadn't assigned us any in particular, just said to revise which certain units. Thank God for that, and that although I was late for Aural, class hadn't started proper yet, just done taking attendance, so didn't miss much.
Thank God that I've had the chance to read at least 1 chapter of the Bible in school these past few days. Please help me to keep it up, stick to my commitment! And balance my time well.

I'm tired, but happy. That's with school life, music/band and involvement in church etc. But I'm sad that I don't spend enough time on my friends, at least I feel like I'm neglecting them. Even just those that are closer and those that I've a more individual friendship with. When I see how others can still put so much time into their friendships, I feel like I'm a failure at being a friend. Is it because I've got so many people on my mind? Hey others have lots of people and things on their mind too, some alot more than YOU! (talking to myself) God, please give me the love to be a friend to my friends and all those around me, to help and do good whenever I can, and to place others before myself. Is this what my friend meant when he made that comment? Am I really so? Or is it that I'm just lazy and horrible at handling my time. No, I'm trying to be hardworking, really! Some people in school say that I am, but am I, really? I stay in school until it closes, most days, including SUNDAYs, except on fridays when there's PLCMC orch prac, or there's rehearsal at church, or after school concerts, etc. I try to make it a point to spend the first half my saturday at home, spend time with family and be at home. Home is not my hotel where I come back to sleep after spending the whole waking day in school, or worse continue to do more work after a whole day of work. I'm not teaching or having much outside commitments, yet I spend almost all my daylight time, including nights, in school, or around school. Even when it seems that I prac alot of the time when not having classes, often it doesn't amount to more than 3hours a day. Its weird.
I don't want the devil to take hold of me. I want to stay as far away from sin as possible. God please help me. I don't think that I'm spouting what is untrue about my feelings just to "show" people. I really do feel this way. I'm weird when put alongside most people. I've yet to meet someone like me. Of course, everybody's different whaattt...

I want to say thank God again! =) Even just saying that feels nice =) Thank God for giving me a faithful Christian friend that I can talk to at night, as in late. Thank God for many things and incidents in which this friend has played an important role. Somehow, there's something curious, its like my friend sometimes doesn't seem to see half the stuff that I've typed(talking on msn), or just replies to half of what I've said, or rather the later lines that I've typed. There are times when I just feel I need to say it out to someone, as in a human person, having somebody give a reply, something visible or audible. It seems like I talk but only get half a response. Yet my friend really does seem like a sincere person. Maybe its just blur. This friend does look blur sometimes. I'm very blur myself, so I guess that must be the case.

Thank God for Dot, Shu, Nat, and everybody else at school, especially my Christian friends and schoolmates. =) Perhaps we can start some campus fellowship or something? Like what other colleges and universities have? It would be good wouldn't it? We tried a Bible study once, but it lasted barely a couple of weeks.

Thank God that although I was late for Harmony project meeting this morning(thurs), my group members were nice about it and didn't be mean about it. God, please help me in everything. A group leader ought not be leaving others to do the work, he/she ought to be setting an example! Not like what I've done so far. I've become very lagging in my work. At least I've finished all my due Harmony hw now, today got 1 new HW question that's all. Must buck up!

Thank God for all the time I had to prac today, and go to Esplanade to listen to the String Ensemble's performance in the evening, and at least caught the last 2pieces, only missed the first. And that I had friends to go with. It is a perverted world, and my own mind has been polluted too, God please cleanse me and help me to think only of what You want me to think and ponder, not to be influenced by the perversion of this world. Please forgive me for the times when my mind has wandered askew.
Thank God for helping me cover all of F min today =) 2 scales down! =) And that when I praced the Strauss after 1week of break from it, it wasn't too bad. =) Please help me not to be complacent, but to work hard and strive to do better, and in all things to glorify Your name. =)

This is called free writing. I have been writing my thoughts as they came and as I recalled of today. I just wanna say thank God for everything today, I can't recall everything in the blink of an eye immediately now, so I'll just say really thank God for bringing me through another day! =) I honestly don't know what I'd do without You. I can see others who don't know You, and I'm so happy for what I have. Please help that all the other people can some to know You too and be saved and experience Your indescribable Love and Peace. =) Indeed, Your children are so blessed! =)

4:12am. Gonna do quiet time and sleep. =) Thank God for watching over me even when I'm asleep, and for letting me hear my alarm more now. I had woken up this morning from mum's call and my alarm, but had let myself go back to sleep cos of tired(EXCUSE!!), thus was late.

To those who are reading this:
Take care and God bless you always =)