Trials, Blessings, Miracles...

Terrible day of the LORD

2009-08-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

Have recently read the email sharings of a brother and a sister in Christ and have been moved to share them with everyone, including my sharing. Some may have read this via email from me already, but i would still like to share this here.

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1st Sharing, from Yibin:

I just have a burden to do a short sharing to encourage and push one another.

When i saw the natural disaster reported of Taiwan last night, my heart was sitrred into thinking: Indeed i have been hearing such kind of news frequently over the recent years. Seems to me like natural disasters have been increasing throughout the world. Then, i thought quickly "But Singapore is safe. If you migrate here, then you are free from 'natural problems'." Seemed that i was wrong too - Swine flu has been pressing hard just on Singapore alone, with new strain found recently (H2N3); some have died on the flu itself. Its not true that one can be safe from 'natural disasters' in Singapore. I cannot avoid, but to realise that the great and terrible day of the LORD is coming.

"But since we are of the day, let us be sober... For God has not destined us for wrath..." 1 Thess 5:8a, 9a

"Then those who feared the LORD spoke to one another, and the LORD gave attention and hear it, and a book of remembrance was written before Him for those who fear the LORD and who esteem His name." Mal 4:16

I was almost guilty immediately for having forgotten "the great and terrible day of the LORD" (Mal 4:5). It caught me red-handed. I tell myself "Its another week of Tuanqi this saturday". I tell myself "I have time to repent of my sin, God is patient." Sometimes, i walk past the poor and needy, hardening my heart against them. Alas, i often take the Lord's patience as a licence to be 'drunk' in my own sins and to be careless about my ministries and my life.

I must honestly admit the reality of my short service time here on earth doesn't seem too real: Watchman nee says the time to glorify God is here on earth, for when we reach heaven, there is nothing more we need to do like on earth - no sin-fighting, no gospel-sharing, just being w/ the LORD and worshipping Him... there is nothing more we can do in fact. I guess the reality of the 5 unprepared virgins being shut outside the door is not that real to me as well. I take grace too much for granted, thinking i will always have time.

Its really hard for me to imagine, especially i feel i am so young. I feel i have so many long-term goals to meet out: finish 2 years of my abroad studies, then plan for work, family, and my future... but... what if tomorrow doesn't come? What if God says "Time's up, Yibin" to me? Then by then, before the LORD, am i clear in my conscience to say "I have been ready, preparing for you to come?" I just hope this serves as a reminder to us, never to think in our spiritual life "I have time to change, so let me continue in sin, in my drunkeness".

Yibin

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2nd Sharing, from Xinyu:

Dear brothers and sisters-in-Christ,

After reading Yibin’s email, I had this strong urge to share with you all some things that have been weighing on my heart and mind recently.

I will start by sharing my 2 recent encounters. Four days ago, on my journey home after BSF (Bible Study Fellowship), I saw this huge bright moon that feels very near to me too. I could even see the shadows on the moon VERY clearly. I REALLY gasped at the sight of it and the friend beside me asked why I seem so shocked (in a bad way), because she thought it was cute. I was at a loss for words and could only utter, “For a moment, I thought that’s the end.” After that, I asked myself “Why am I so scared? Am I right with GOD? How honest am I before Him? 50%, 70% or haven’t talked/prayed to Him much for the past few days?”

My second encounter. I fell very ill 2 weeks ago. For days, I thought my unwell was not big enough for any cause for concern. But I never expected myself to wake up one morning in extreme pain, unable to move. It was excruciating and the worst pain was, I didn’t really know what was happening. While lying on bed for an hour before getting up, my mind kept fluctuating between a blank and turmoil state. The doctor took a test that day and while waiting for the results to be out after 48hrs or for my condition to improve, I could hardly do anything due to my pain and weakness. I felt as if life came to a halt but I must say, the most tormenting part was not knowing what was happening.

Thank God I am feeling much better now, but it really taught me many important and invaluable lessons. Everything felt surreal and scary then. Like Yibin said, it is hard to believe something may happen and there may not be the next 3 years of uni and then working. There are still so many things I want to do. I feel driven, but by what and for what? By pride for earthly transient things or by God’s love for His Kingdom and His glory?

2 days ago, I just attended a talk by Mark Dever, a senior pastor in Capitol Hill Baptist Church in Washington D.C, and I was hardly able to breath during and after the talk. His questions gripped my heart and so imprinted on my mind. “Is your happiness within your enemies’ reach?” “Are you enslaved by your pleasures? Be careful because pleasures can choke you.” “If you don’t spend time reading the Bible, how are you spending your life? Building idols?” “Can you be happy under any circumstances?” He also confronted the issue of wealth and giving of our time and resources. “It is not how much you give but how much you keep.” “Christian’s life is about leaning on God so much so that our lives don’t make sense.”

I know I have SO MUCH things I need to do. My lifestyle needs radical change. I need to stop giving myself excuses. Don’t assume there is time. I am speaking this for myself for right at this moment, I am fighting with my own pride and desire for human approval. Just this morning, I felt so down and apologetic to God because I backed out the moment my friend said “You won’t go to hell just because you miss a service.” (They wanted to do a project on Sun and the timing don’t allow me to attend the morning nor the evening service.) After that incident, I don’t even dare to mention the fact we are infringing copyrights by photocopying an assessment form.:(

Do I have the courage to tell them who GOD is even though it may sound silly and even simply hilarious to them? Okie, that concerns group work. How about my individual presentation? I did not get the topics I wanted and ended up with a discussion qn about sexual health. Do I dare to use this opportunity to let them know who GOD is? And to conclude with something that is the direct truth from the Bible? May God help me and us to learn to lean on Him so much that our lives don’t make sense.

In Him,
Xinyu

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3rd Sharing, from me(written on 14.08.2009):

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

Yes indeed these are all big reminders in the face to remind us. In a way thank God. And indeed we must really keep on the watch out, because we are so "dumb-wood" and thick at times, and now that God has used such big things in our face, let us recognised the signs and really be on the alert in how we live our lives. [Luke路 12:54-56]

Would like to call for dear brothers and sisters to pray for the Typhoon Morakot situation in Taiwan. i admit i've been very lagging with world news, have just heard about the Taiwan disaster from a taiwanese friend here(in Germany), who called me just now and was talking about it. She wants to write letters of request for help to international aid organisations because the Taiwan government is not doing enough and is too slow, and has asked me to help her write it in English. Will be helping her to translate it tomorrow. Its really a big thing, and now that i've gotten to know more taiwanese friends here, it really strikes much closer than before. There are lots of people there who are still unable to reach aid, over a hundred dead in the southern half of taiwan, and more still missing. especially in the mountainous areas. This may simply sound like a news report, but let us be reminded that these are real severe disasters happening to real people, real souls who need God.

It is really a reminder to me of how much we need to pray for the salvation of others and for opportunities and love, courage and wisdom to share the gospel to people. i've been working at a Chinese Restaurant here since about a month ago, a couple of days each week. And especially since i've been working at the bar since last week, that means lots of washing, drying/polishing drink glasses etc, its been more physical than mental work and i've been able to hum hymns etc all day long, spending time with God in this way and had the opportunity to share about the gospel and christianity with 2 colleagues and have given a Bible to one of them(sponsored by the Chinese Church here). Particularly these 2 days at work, have been reminded how much i could have spent that same time using my heart and mind to pray for the salvation of my colleagues and other people while my hands are busy. i'm trying to do that. Do let's all work together in this ministry of reconciliation [2 Cor 林后 5:18-20] which God has given us. It will not be easy but God's grace is sufficient for us, let us seek Him indeed for all of our needs because He alone is the source of all life.

with love in Christ,
chun'en ruth

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Although my friend did not write the aid request letter in the end because she had seen later news updates about foreign help coming in, we should still continue with our battle against the evil spiritual forces and uphold one another in prayer. And i've also heard comforting news from a brother here that a large number of the aboriginal taiwanese living in the rural and mountainous areas who were affected are already family in Christ. They were first evangelised by western missionaries many years ago. Do let's continue praying for the salvation of those still living, that death may no longer have its grip on us, but is actually a door through which we must go to leave this world and go to be with our Saviour Lord Jesus Christ and Father God in Heaven.

Winnie the Pooh: Friend, in deed

2009-07-20T01:45:00.000+08:00

"FRIEND, IN DEED" - The best video clips are right here

just saw this on a friend's blog, brings back childhood memories of growing up watching winnie the pooh in the hundred acre woods cartoons. =) indeed pooh always makes people smile. but more importantly, is thank God for letting me see the lesson from pooh in this video, despite his innocense or naiveness, whichever you'd choose to call it, the heart of a friend. and sometimes we are really just like rabbit. thank God for the reminder, to remember to see the heart of pooh in every one of the friends around us. =)

Nick Vujicic's testimony

2007-07-11T16:46:00.000+08:00

My name is Nick Vujicic and I give God the Glory for how He has used my testimony to touch thousands of hearts around the world! I was born without limbs and doctors have no medical explanation for this birth 'defect'. As you can imagine, I was faced with many challenges and obstacles.

'Consider it pure joy, my Brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds.' ....To count our hurt, pain and struggle as nothing but pure joy? As my parents were Christians, and my Dad even a Pastor of our church, they knew that verse very well. However, on the morning of the 4th of December 1982 in Melbourne (Australia), the last two words on the minds of my parents was 'Praise God!'. Their firstborn son had been born without limbs! There were no warnings or time to prepare themselves for it. The doctors we shocked and had no answers at all! There is still no medical reason why this had happened and Nick now has a Brother and Sister who were born just like any other baby.
The whole church mourned over my birth and my parents were absolutely devastated. Everyone asked, 'if God is a God of Love, then why would God let something this bad happen to not just anyone, but dedicated Christians?' My Dad thought I wouldn't survive for very long, but tests proved that I was a healthy baby boy just with a few limbs missing.

Understandably, my parents had strong concern and evident fears of what kind of life I'd be able to lead. God provided them strength, wisdom and courage through those early years and soon after that I was old enough to go to school.

The law in Australia didn't allow me to be integrated into a main-stream school because of my physical disability. God did miracles and gave my Mom the strength to fight for the law to be changed. I was one of the first disabled students to be integrated into a main-stream school.

I liked going to school, and just try to live life like everyone else, but it was in my early years of school where I encountered uncomfortable times of feeling rejected, weird and bullied because of my physical difference. It was very hard for me to get used to, but with the support of my parents, I started to develop attitudes and values which helped me overcome these challenging times. I knew that I was different but on the inside I was just like everyone else. There were many times when I felt so low that I wouldn't go to school just so I didn't have to face all the negative attention. I was encouraged by my parents to ignore them and to try start making friends by just talking with some kids. Soon the students realized that I was just like them, and starting there God kept on blessing me with new friends.

There were times when I felt depressed and angry because I couldn't change the way I was, or blame anyone for that matter. I went to Sunday School and learnt that God loves us all and that He cares for you. I understood that love to a point as a child, but I didn't understand that if God loved me why did He make me like this? Is it because I did something wrong? I thought I must have because out of all the kids at school, I'm the only weird one. I felt like I was a burden to those around me and the sooner I go, the better it'd be for everyone. I wanted to end my pain and end my life at a young age, but I am thankful once again, for my parents and family who were always there to comfort me and give me strength.

Due to my emotional struggles I had experienced with bullying, self esteem and loneliness, God has implanted a passion of sharing my story and experiences to help others cope with whatever challenge they have in their life and let God turn it into a blessing. To encourage and inspire others to live to their fullest potential and not let anything get in the way of accomplishing their hopes and dreams.

One of the first lessons that I have learnt was not to take things for granted.

'And we know that in all things God works for the best for those who love Him.' That verse spoke to my heart and convicted me to the point where that I know that there is no such thing as luck, chance or coincidence that these 'bad' things happen in our life.
I had complete peace knowing that God won't let anything happen to us in our life unless He has a good purpose for it all. I completely gave my life to Christ at the age of fifteen after reading John 9. Jesus said that the reason the man was born blind was 'so that the works of God may be revealed through Him.' I truly believed that God would heal me so I could be a great testimony of His Awesome Power. Later on I was given the wisdom to understand that if we pray for something, if it's God's will, it'll happen in His time. If it's not God's will for it to happen, then I know that He has something better.
I now see that Glory revealed as He is using me just the way I am and in ways others can't be used.
I am now twenty-three years old and have completed a Bachelor of Commerce majoring in Financial Planning and Accounting. I am also a motivational speaker and love to go out and share my story and testimony wherever opportunities become available. I have developed talks to relate to and encourage students through topics that challenge today's teenagers. I am also a speaker in the corporate sector.

I have a passion for reaching out to youth and keep myself available for whatever God wants me to do, and wherever He leads, I follow.

I have many dreams and goals that I have set to achieve in my life. I want to become the best witness I can be of God's Love and Hope, to become an international inspirational speaker and be used as a vessel in both Christian and non-Christian venues. I want to become financially independent by the age of 25, through real estate investments, to modify a car for me to drive and to be interviewed and share my story on the 'Oprah Winfrey Show'! Writing several best-selling books has been one of my dreams and I hope to finish writing my first by the end of the year. It will be called 'No Arms, No Legs, No Worries!'

I believe that if you have the desire and passion to do something, and if it's God's will, you will achieve it in good time. As humans, we continually put limits on ourselves for no reason at all! What's worse is putting limits on God who can do all things. We put God in a 'box'. The awesome thing about the Power of God, is that if we want to do something for God, instead of focusing on our capability, concentrate on our availability for we know that it is God through us and we can't do anything without Him. Once we make ourselves available for God's work, guess whose capabilities we rely on? God's!

May the Lord Bless you
In Christ,
Nick Vujicic

a link to a video clip of Nick. do see!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7668133414808372958
(the page may appear saying that "this page cannot be found", just wait a moment then it should start loading. if not, simply refresh or re-click the link to open it again =) )

World Federation of Chinese Methodist Churches 4th Youth Leaders Conference - experience sharing(for pan2 shi2)

2006-07-24T07:47:00.000+08:00

感谢主让我有机会参加六月的世界循道卫理宗华人教会联合第四届青年领袖大会。从作出要去的决定和一切筹备工作到平安地从香港回来都看到上帝一路的带领，从中不单学习了不少，还认识了好些爱主的弟兄姐妹。

当初报名参加时以为是个领袖训练营。不久后便收到消息说有总召集，就从这第一次的总召集才发现到营会原来是给已经是青年领袖的人去参加！而我在团契里却从来都没真正的当过什么领袖。除此以外，还发现到我们是代表全新加坡，这么大的重任，而且还有很多筹备工作。回想着这一切筹备工作，上帝真是给了我好多的事奉机会，差不多每一项都有付出。最难忘的就是各地事工分享，当晚各地区的代表都是一位牧师或传道人，惟有我一个最小的，经验和年纪最轻的。还记得我们新加坡是最后一个地区分享，在等的当儿就在外面赶紧与一位姐妹练台词。真是感谢主给我勇气和镇定来说，还有那段等的时间来预备和练台词，因为之前都忙着其他的筹备，还没时间坐下来好好的预备。也感谢主让我从一切中更加学习怎么在与他人合作时和睦，互相帮助。

其中最有记念性的节目就是第一晚的野外独处。我们接到的通知是会在一个公园里举行，大概需要远足30到45分钟去营地。谁知，想象中的小公园原来是香港的马鞍山郊野公园，而且还真的是得爬上山哦！但感谢主一路与我同在，赐我力量渡过一切，还赐我一个非常有爱心的小组！当晚是我们在暗中集聚时第一次遇到个个组员，而只有我一个是新加坡人。除了几位之前认识了的香港弟兄姐妹，我和其他的组员都是第一次见面，但这却没有拦住我们彼此相爱。每个人都很愿意彼此认识，互相帮助，尤其是在远足的时候，都一直彼此看顾勉励。对我这个好动的人来说，有机会在大自然里远足是我非常向往的，所以虽然途中和安营后是有好些辛苦和不舒，但都觉得还好，而且真的是许多的感谢主！因又暗又长又下阵雨又滑，每一步都真是靠着信心走的。安营后自己一个，以前会害怕，但真的，在主爱里无惧怕，而且想着整山都是上帝的民！太美，太幸福了！＝〕

在这几天的各各节目中，每天最向往的就是小组分享时间吧。＝D 哈哈，这是我小组在最后一晚分享营会得着时都同意的。最难忘的就是那晚，接着一位弟兄的提议，我们每个人分享后，大家都一同为那个人安手开声祷告，然后一位受感动的弟兄或姐妹就为他祷告。这还是我第一次有这样的经验。＝〕很感谢主给我这个，英文说“work hard and play hard”的小组，分享时认真，有难题时愿意建议帮助，轮到玩时也都劲情地享受。也非常感谢主给我小组里有一位香港弟兄能和非常愿意地为我们，就是我和一位台湾姐妹，从第一晚到最后星期天的崇拜都一直做翻译。从这位弟兄和其他组员，三位香港姐妹和一位香港和一位东马弟兄的行动、分享上、他们的热心招待等，真的看到了上帝的爱。甚至营会后那位做翻译的弟兄为我们的小组取了名，叫Agape小组！＝D

这营会中的专题、研经等，也教导了我很多。整体上，这整个营会给了我很大的激发要更加为主而活，殷勤地学习圣经，随走随传永不退缩。希望能参加下一届的领袖大会，也非常鼓励其他的弟兄姐妹去参加！＝〕

discoveries of biblical sites n stuff

2005-11-11T18:13:00.000+08:00

http://users.netconnect.com.au/~leedas/index.html
discoveries by God inspired Ronald Wyatt.
-Noah's Ark
-Exodus of Israelites
-Sodom & Gomorrah
-Mount Sinai
-Ark of the Covenant

(email from joyce)

REMINDER:
-READ THE BIBLE!! IT IS THE TRUTH! consists of ONLY TRUTH! and is ALL TRUTH!
absolutely NOTHING FALSE about it!
-from Sodom&Gomorrah: now u see how horrendous and scary His judgement and punishment, was, is, and always will be! please stay away from sin!!
His criteria: not ONE sin.
"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came from Christ Jesus."
-- Romans 3:23-24
By His grace, He gave us a way out, only by faith are we saved. must be reborn again!

for all girls n women!

2005-11-10T18:20:00.000+08:00

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. -- Proverbs 31:30
艳丽是虚假的，美容是虚浮的；惟敬畏耶和华的妇女必得称赞。
-- 箴言 31 章 30节

read whole of 箴言Proverbs 31:10-31
论贤妻 Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

=)
Thank You Father for this reminder! =)

=)

2005-11-01T19:28:00.000+08:00

When I just saw the title of my last blog, I just had to say this.
Indeed, He will provide, and He has. =)
Thank God for helping me through one very tough week, 3 big assignments down.
1 Harmony II project presentation on Tues
2 Composition I term2 assignment on Wed
3 History II individual (horn) presentation on Thurs

Thank God so much for everything. esp for the History presentation, finished just on the dot before 4pm when History lecture (presentations) was going to start, and Dr Kan helped to zap my handouts too, met her in the lift just as I was rushing out to get the handouts zapped. Saved me a trip and cost for zapping. Thank God! =) and the printer worked! just when it wasn't earlier in the morning, and again later in the evening.
Was late for the Bible study class on Tues, but thank God that when I reached 20mins late(from completing compo), Cecilia was still revising last week's lesson, so didn't miss this week's. =) and thank God for everything that He is teaching me each day.

Thank God for the whole week, having the chance to talk to friends, esp Christian friends, including Weifu, and spending time at Family Worship =) Just thank God so much. For the trials, and helping me through the trials, my Guide always. =)

I've signed up for the Might Man 2 camp at last. Looking forward to an enriching and enlightening experience, but will be careful and on guard, as warned by my Christian friend.

Must stick to the timetable I've just come up with for this week and next week. God please help me!

Wrote in my journal that I'm just gonna do quiet time then sleep. Now I've extended to writing this, so must end here now. All that He gives me, isn't just about writing a blog entry, its all written in His plans. Yes. and Praise Him, Father, everyday, everywhere, all the time, not just here. =)

And thank God for helping me find the online Daily Bread again =)

goodnight.

To those reading this:
take care and may God bless you always =)

He will provide =)

2005-10-21T14:58:00.000+08:00

I just wanna say that although I haven't been blogging like everyday, it doesn't mean that I'm feeling Him in my life any less. The truth is, everyday is full of new experiences, trials, learning ones and blessings and many more, if I were to write down everything that happens, I'd have to keep on writing every other moment. Also, now I sometimes write in my notebook for spiritual stuff, like sermon notes, quiet time stuff, thoughts and stuff about my spiritual life. That one contains all my most personal thoughts and everything, at hand anytime, unlike this online blog.

Today was the Concerto Competition's first round for woodwinds and brasses. There's quite abit that happened, some parts perhaps not what we, being humans, would like best, and probably think are very bad, but after much thought today, from after playing until now, He has helped me to see once again that truly, all that He has planned, is perfect. Apart from the scarlet incident, everything else fell in one after the other, and now that I come to think of it, I wasn't very worried, as in to the extent of shaking and getting all worked up and nervous. He gave me the peace and serenity to practise bits that I wasn't very clear with the articulation yet etc, while waiting for Nat to come up and run through the piece with me. It was a long wait, but I had the time to do all the necessary preparations, including changing and having a few extra minutes after eating my cup noodle lunch, clear out the bit of extra consumed air that could cause burping during the performance, etc, and much more. All the little stuff. And I did get to prac through and more or less clear all the tougher running articulated parts in the whole of the movement. And just after running through Animato then more or less the whole movement, LiFeng called to say it was my turn and ask where I was. Wow, thank God for that. Most importantly, we had the time to pray, 10seconds in the lift down from 3rd level to Stage level. ok maybe more than 10secs, but said a quick prayer with Nat, then we stepped out of the lift and back stage, put down our stuff, decided to play right away instead of waiting until after Sebas, and played. In the end, all the adrenaline from having to come down quickly and get ready helped, kept the nerves away, especially after seeing the panel of adjudicators, Adams, Fredi and Caroline. Even helped me push more, and Nat said that I was more responsive to her pushes in the music etc. So everything turned out well, Nat n Dot said it was the best yet that I had played after listening to the recording. Thank God for everything!! =) I may not have physically won any title, but He has helped me climb over a wall in myself. And also after "counselling" from Nat n Dot on monday, especially from Yibin on tuesday, I'm learning to cope with a problem I myself face, how to react to good stuff people say, aka praise, without getting all scared and hiding away. I've known for quite some time that the answer is of course "Thank God, not me!", but often forget, now, I can say that with more confidence =) really thank God for that, and everything else! =)

This evening I was resting after dinner, spending time reading Bible. Read about Abraham. On the bus ride home, read more about Abraham 亚伯拉罕, this time about "Abraham Tested 神吩咐亚伯垃罕献以撒". Was thinking about this part, verse 7 where Isaac 以撒 asked 亚伯拉罕 about the lamb for the burnt offering and what he replied in verse 8:
7 Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abrahan, "Father?"
"Yes, my son?"Abraham replied.
"The fire and wood are here," Isaac said, "but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?"
8 Abraham answered, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son."And
the two of them went on together.
7 以撒对他父亲亚伯拉罕说：“父亲啊！” 亚伯拉罕说：“我儿，我在这里。” 以撒说：“请看，火与柴
都有了，但shu2祭的羔羊在哪里呢？”
8 亚伯拉罕说：“我儿，神必自己预备作shu2 祭的羔羊。” 于是二人同行。

Indeed, God Himself provides for everything we need. Even at times when things don't seem like they could possibly be of any help, or to the extent where it seems like nothing else could possibly get any worse or more wrong, yet they do, in the end, everything always works out fine according to His plans. That's the first learning point and reminder today, that God always provides!
Secondly, we've got to learn to be submissive to Him. Because Abraham was, even though he was put to a seemingly impossible and horrible task, sacrificing his only and loved son. It was a test, and because he was submissive to God and obeyed Him, he passed God's test for him, and was further more blessed. Why we should be submissive to Him?: because He is God, our only Lord and Master, and only when we are submissive and obey Him and do as He says, can we see what He has in store for us. By being stubborn and disobedient, we are simply pushing away what He wants to give us. That is of no good to anybody at all. If we are truly repentent and confess our sins and are willing to change, He will surely help us, for He wants us to be saved, not dead. But if we stubbornly choose to disregard and ignore what He is trying to tell us, through other Christians and the Bible itself, then we are simply throwing ourselves into a death pit, and will most certainly be judged on Judgement Day. The evil, sinful, ungodly, those who do things that are ungodly in His eyes, will surely be judged and have to face the terrible horrible consequeces of their actions then. Knowing that, we should avoid such acts and prepare everyday to live to your very best as a Christian, He will provide for everything! =) thank God. Amen. =)

God, please help me that should I say anything that is false, please teach me and right me, that I should only speak of the truth and not false teachings.

Truly what Cecilia said during tuesday's Bible study class, that even if we can't sit down and really go into deep study of the Bible, we should always read the Bible, n live in His words. Indeed, it is true, for He'll speak to us each day through His words, and everyday we'll learn a little more and grow a little more. =)

Thank God for everything =)

To those who are reading this:
Take care and God bless you always =)

added sunday 23 oct 12:16am:
Thinking about this. My friend commented "quite an exprience isn't it..."
Well, I'd say it was more of a spiritual experiene than a musical one =) Still, thank God for it all =)

another week...

2005-10-15T17:45:00.000+08:00

It has been a busy week, ups and downs in many ways.
After everything, I still wanna say thank God for everything. =)

And also, very importantly, something that happened today(friday 14 oct), or rather found out, is that NAFA band's trip to Genting has been cancelled!! =) This means, that I can go for the Mighty Man 2 camp!!!! WOOOHOOO!! =D so happy. Found out at the end of band prac when we were starting to pack up, was so happy!! smsed my friend the good news right after I got back to 6th floor from theatre. HEEE!!! =D now I can ask my friends to go too! =)
I've asked one friend already, but he doesn't think he can make it. sigh. Well there's always hope that he might end up being free n wanna go, keep praying! =) Also, I can ask NAFA friends to go too! =) yeahyeahyeah... Thank God for letting me go for the camp! =) for giving me this wonderful chance to get to know you better =)

This week, I've started doing my Bible study class hw, but its been a very slow start.. only started a little little of Day 1! must be more consistent and diligent! succumbed to sleep last night...... Somehow, maybe I've gotta keep all my school work to day time, then can do this Bible study hw at night, or else I'll always be too tired once it hits 2am onwards, or perhaps even 130am.. Its like I sit down and my brain and eyes start shutting down. God please help me to plan my time better and to have the energy and diligence to do ALL my hw! school AND Bible study. And sunday school.

Thank you God for helping me through these last 3 nights of band pracs, it has been very tough, mentally. I haven't really had the time to sit down and prac the few parts I've to play yet, tomorrow's the concert. Its still like a matter of chance on certain bits. And its very mentally and emotionally tiring, strenuous rather, to be the asst 1st in school. haiz. God please help me!!! I don't want to be rude or sin because of anger, but I am weak. I don't want to complain! Its part of my job and I've got to accept it as part and parcel of everything, because it is. God please help me to do my best, and to prac my parts. I should have done that no matter what, no matter what others do, or do not do. Please give me the courage to carry on. Today's prac kicked off with a very bad start, for me. Thank God for helping me through. Don't know how else I could have survived. God please help everybody else in band too, including every person. I thank God that I've got You to lean on and count on for everything. =)

Thank God that I got the chance to talk with ShuYu on the phone just now. It was a long conversation. more than an hour. God please take care of her and help her in everyway possible. Please help that all the people I know, and those that I don't, somehow they'll come to believe in You too. I know from what You have said, that not everybody can be saved because of themselves, as for those that can be saved, please, if there's anything I can do or be use of, please use me! There have been many times when I've met situations at which I see a friend in so much need, yet I do not know how to help or what to do, so helpless. Please teach me and show me each day Your will, that I should follow only where You lead me to, and not stray from Your path or be stubborn. Please forgive me of all my sins.

Thank God for the bilingual Bible that Shu, Dot, Nat and friends at school gave me for my birthday last year. Its really useful! =) and I'm reading through the whole Bible now using that. And I use it for Bible study class and hw. =) I'm now faced with the trouble of what to do with 2 Bibles. I love my old Chinese one, and its got all my markings and stuff in it, since pri1! It holds so much memories and stuff, and I'm more familiar with it. Now, I need the bilingual one too, more rather, because everything's being taught in English now and I need to know what is said in English that I can better understand and communicate with other fellow Christian bros and sisters. And reading the English translation is also very useful because the Chinese translation sometimes contains words or phrases that I do not fully understand the meaning of, but when in English, I can understand the point better, and also, there are times when the English and Chinese meaning are different, and reading both gives me a better idea of what He is trying to tell us. Also, knowing the Bible in English enables me to share with non-Chinese friends and friends who are less familiar with Chinese.
ok I can always transfer the quotes and markings, and finally, I'll need a new Bible skin for this bilingual Bible to protect it from totally becoming rotten from carrying it around. Right now I'm using the original box that it came in as my birthday present, and the box is getting really squashed and it often opens, and the box takes up more space. Once I've done all that, which I must soon, I can carry just 1 Bible around. Have been carrying both around these past few days, week... ha...

Just now on the phone with ShuYu, she commented that I'm speaking more Chinese nowadays during conversation, much more. I guess that's because I'm becoming more aware of my roots and am learning to appreciate it more. I love Chinese anyway. =) Its a beautiful language to speak and listen to.

ok its very late now, 3:13am, dad has come out a few times to ask me to go to bed already. I'll do some of the Bible study class hw then go to sleep.

One very important thing today, today's Daily Bread entry is a reminder to me about spreading the Gospel. We can do our part by sharing and all, but after doing what we can, we must always remember that it is God who puts the final touches to change a person.
Firstly, it is a reminder "To Tell The Truth", as the title says.
The reading is from 2 Corinthians 4:3-7
The quoted verse is
We do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord.
-- 2 Corinthians 4:5
The entry tells about evangelism that shoves the Gospel into people's faces, turning people away instead. It is a reminder to speak only of the truth, what God has told us, only about Him.
The last paragraph says...
"Evangelism is simpleysharing with others what we know about Jesus. "We do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord" (2 Corinthians 4:5). No tricks. No deception. Speak the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth--in love. Then leave the results with God."
I feel that the last sentence speaks to me the most. I should always remember that everything lies in Him, and that I should always leave the results with God. Not that I should be lazy or slack on what I can or should do, but to do my best and then leave the rest with Him. Like today's poem quote says..
It's not our task to force God's truth
On those who may the truth detest,
But we are asked to share Christ's love
And let God's Spirit do the rest.
--D. De Haan
This is something that I've gotta learn, to let go and let God. I always keep holding on stubbornly refusing to let go of things. Perhaps my trouble with which Bible to use is also like this in some way? I know that I need the bilingual Bible now, because of growth, need to grow, and also change in times, yet I keep holding on to my old Chinese Bible.
Question: to tell the truth, as in based on the Bible, would be to tell the Gospel as it is, about just God, Jesus, only? What about telling the truth about how He has worked in my life, sharing. I think we need a balance of both, but how to tell. The verse says "We do not preach ourselves", does that mean that we shouldn't speak about ourselves, as in including our own experiences? That doesn't seem to be the right meaning leh... 'cause we're supposed to share arn't we? as in not about us ourselves, but Him through us.

Life may be tough, but He is the toughest, and He will see us through our journey on Earth, preparing us for Heaven =) I want to be among those saved and standing on Judgement Day. God please help me.

Ok now is the time when my brain starts, IS shutting down. 3:41am
goodnight, will write more again soon. Thank God for everything. =) Please help me to grow in Your Word each day =)

today's Family Worship

2005-10-08T17:35:00.000+08:00

Just now during family worship, dad did the sharing. It was about...
(got this from his notes and added abit)

The Law of Potential

1. Potential -- unexposed ability, hidden power one can do, but has not yet done.
提摩太后书 2 Timothy 4:6
Paul used his potential to the fullest.

2. God is the source of all potential.
(He is...)
- Omnipresent [is everywhere]
- Omniscent [knows all]
- Omnipotent [has all power]
(because of above 3 points), hence all things are possible with God.
In 创世记 Genesis 1:1, God created.

3. Everything in life came from a "seed-thought", 一个出发点. (doesn't literally mean a seed of
thought?)
Like how a tiny spark can start a great fire.

4. Nothing potentially great in life is ever instant.
It takes times to realise.
Can be from ideas, dreams, visions, concepts, imaginations.
希伯来书 Hebrew 3:11 (<-- can't figure out the connection of this verse at the moment, gonna ask Dad again)

5. Potential is released by hardworks.
We are created to work -- Adam was given tasks [创世记 Genesis 1:4-5]

6. To maximise potential, we have to use to the max of our capacity, do our best.
歌林多前书 1 Corinthians 2:9 -- to discover the purpose God has for you, His plans.

7. Constant comparison can harm one's potential.
True success is in what you have performed(done, acomplished).
But to be the best I can be. Like Paul 加拉太书 Galatians 6:4.

8. Past experience can hinder Faith and harm potential.
创 Gen 2:16

9. To maximise potential, I need to obey the Lord's Law of Limitation for me.
(all potential has a limit)
Potential is meant to bless and not to harm.
Therefore we need the guide of the Holy Spirit.

10. Potential is maximised when you share it with others.
[Being single is not equal to being alone.]

That's what Dad shared with us today.

I'm really tired now, must go to sleep, totally dozing off.
Thank God for letting me hear my alarm this morning, or rather at 12pm. Thank God for the time spent during lunch with Mum, Dad and Ai, and that Dad gave me a lift to MacRitchie bus stop. Saw 2 Christian Chinese guys talking and listened, thank God for the reminder to not be selfish, in actions and prayer, but to pray for others and pray to be able to help others. Thank God for bringing me safely to school today, and that I had the chance to do some of the History GW with FongYee. God please help us to put in our best effort and do the best that we can, despite obsticles like poor understanding of the language/info given or poor analytical skills/understanding, overcoming them. Thank God for letting me understand the english language a little better that I can do something to help in this area of understanding the handouts/notes. Please help me when I'm confused or don't understand. Thank God that Composition and Orchestration lectures went well today. Thank God very much that after "balloting" for our Compo assignment submission dates, I got the latest one, 26 Oct. Please help me to start doing my work early that I should not rush at the last minute, and please God give me the inspiration to know what to write. Thank God too that I had the chance to have dinner with Vanessa and Yiwei, spent time together talking while eating. Thank God that PLCMC Orch tonight was ok, improved my playing on some parts, and thank God that I got to do some warm up and prac the Animato part a little. Thank God for the prata supper, yummy! =) Thank God for the Family Worship time together. =) Thank God for everything! =)

ok really shall go to sleep now. 3:24am. goodnight =)

To those who are reading this:
Take care and God bless you always =)

Thank You God for This Day...

2005-10-07T19:16:00.000+08:00

Thank You God for This Day...

Thank You God for this day,
its meant for me to thank You.
Thank You God for saving me,
from my sins I can be free,
thank You Jesus Christ!

Thank You for Your love and care,
I can talk to You through a prayer.
From Your precious promises I can depend,
thank You God for You!

=)

Title:

2005-10-07T18:16:00.000+08:00

I don't like writing titles.

Its funny how I always seem to get more confused at night. Probably because that's the time when its quieter and I have more mental room to think and think and think and think too much. It seems like having a blog makes me think more. Writing down your thoughts makes you think more. Well this isn't something new. Its an old fact.

Here's a website that mum emailed to me. Wanna share it here, as a Christian, its very encouraging and very nicely done too. The song is sung in Korean(i think), but the words are in English.
http://www.donghaeng.net/english/duty/duty.swf
I guess one can never have enough reminders of this kind, spiritual.

Told SM about my blog again just now. After looking, he commented that its kinda religious. Well it isn't about being religious, because I really do feel this way, that thank God for everything! And after reading Shu's latest blog entry just now, all the more so! That His timing is always perfect. Even now, there are many things that my mind seeks to question and ponder, that I yearn for, but at least I know that He is always there and that in His time, everything is planned. Think of the song "In His Time", He truly made things beautiful. All things beautiful. I don't want to say but, but people will say, what about all the horrible things that are happening now? Say, the starving people in the 3rd world countries, the innocents harmed/killed... etc. I feel sad for all this too, but somehow God knows what He is doing, and all I can do is to keep on trusting, and to keep on trying to stay trustful. God please help me, I don't want to lose grip on You. You are my only hope in life, and You are the one who has kept me alive all this time, giving me all that I need at any particular time or situation in my life just perfectly so, so that I should still be here today as who I am today. I must remember that He has different plans for each person and that I shouldn't always compare myself with others the way I do. Like in Shu's latest blog entry, she mentioned about His perfect timing of some of the people she has met. For me, I feel more of His perfect timing in the events, incidents, that have taken place in my life. Of course it doesn't mean that He has done any less in the area of the people I've met, its just that different people, different experiences. And even in this events, incidents etc, there were always people involved.

Its just so exhausting to write and think like this.

I want to thank God that I've cleared all my dued Harmony hw! =)
About Aural hw, turned out that Mr Lim hadn't assigned us any in particular, just said to revise which certain units. Thank God for that, and that although I was late for Aural, class hadn't started proper yet, just done taking attendance, so didn't miss much.
Thank God that I've had the chance to read at least 1 chapter of the Bible in school these past few days. Please help me to keep it up, stick to my commitment! And balance my time well.

I'm tired, but happy. That's with school life, music/band and involvement in church etc. But I'm sad that I don't spend enough time on my friends, at least I feel like I'm neglecting them. Even just those that are closer and those that I've a more individual friendship with. When I see how others can still put so much time into their friendships, I feel like I'm a failure at being a friend. Is it because I've got so many people on my mind? Hey others have lots of people and things on their mind too, some alot more than YOU! (talking to myself) God, please give me the love to be a friend to my friends and all those around me, to help and do good whenever I can, and to place others before myself. Is this what my friend meant when he made that comment? Am I really so? Or is it that I'm just lazy and horrible at handling my time. No, I'm trying to be hardworking, really! Some people in school say that I am, but am I, really? I stay in school until it closes, most days, including SUNDAYs, except on fridays when there's PLCMC orch prac, or there's rehearsal at church, or after school concerts, etc. I try to make it a point to spend the first half my saturday at home, spend time with family and be at home. Home is not my hotel where I come back to sleep after spending the whole waking day in school, or worse continue to do more work after a whole day of work. I'm not teaching or having much outside commitments, yet I spend almost all my daylight time, including nights, in school, or around school. Even when it seems that I prac alot of the time when not having classes, often it doesn't amount to more than 3hours a day. Its weird.
I don't want the devil to take hold of me. I want to stay as far away from sin as possible. God please help me. I don't think that I'm spouting what is untrue about my feelings just to "show" people. I really do feel this way. I'm weird when put alongside most people. I've yet to meet someone like me. Of course, everybody's different whaattt...

I want to say thank God again! =) Even just saying that feels nice =) Thank God for giving me a faithful Christian friend that I can talk to at night, as in late. Thank God for many things and incidents in which this friend has played an important role. Somehow, there's something curious, its like my friend sometimes doesn't seem to see half the stuff that I've typed(talking on msn), or just replies to half of what I've said, or rather the later lines that I've typed. There are times when I just feel I need to say it out to someone, as in a human person, having somebody give a reply, something visible or audible. It seems like I talk but only get half a response. Yet my friend really does seem like a sincere person. Maybe its just blur. This friend does look blur sometimes. I'm very blur myself, so I guess that must be the case.

Thank God for Dot, Shu, Nat, and everybody else at school, especially my Christian friends and schoolmates. =) Perhaps we can start some campus fellowship or something? Like what other colleges and universities have? It would be good wouldn't it? We tried a Bible study once, but it lasted barely a couple of weeks.

Thank God that although I was late for Harmony project meeting this morning(thurs), my group members were nice about it and didn't be mean about it. God, please help me in everything. A group leader ought not be leaving others to do the work, he/she ought to be setting an example! Not like what I've done so far. I've become very lagging in my work. At least I've finished all my due Harmony hw now, today got 1 new HW question that's all. Must buck up!

Thank God for all the time I had to prac today, and go to Esplanade to listen to the String Ensemble's performance in the evening, and at least caught the last 2pieces, only missed the first. And that I had friends to go with. It is a perverted world, and my own mind has been polluted too, God please cleanse me and help me to think only of what You want me to think and ponder, not to be influenced by the perversion of this world. Please forgive me for the times when my mind has wandered askew.
Thank God for helping me cover all of F min today =) 2 scales down! =) And that when I praced the Strauss after 1week of break from it, it wasn't too bad. =) Please help me not to be complacent, but to work hard and strive to do better, and in all things to glorify Your name. =)

This is called free writing. I have been writing my thoughts as they came and as I recalled of today. I just wanna say thank God for everything today, I can't recall everything in the blink of an eye immediately now, so I'll just say really thank God for bringing me through another day! =) I honestly don't know what I'd do without You. I can see others who don't know You, and I'm so happy for what I have. Please help that all the other people can some to know You too and be saved and experience Your indescribable Love and Peace. =) Indeed, Your children are so blessed! =)

4:12am. Gonna do quiet time and sleep. =) Thank God for watching over me even when I'm asleep, and for letting me hear my alarm more now. I had woken up this morning from mum's call and my alarm, but had let myself go back to sleep cos of tired(EXCUSE!!), thus was late.

To those who are reading this:
Take care and God bless you always =)

hmmm... thank God again! haha =D

2005-10-05T16:53:00.000+08:00

Aha I'm here again. In the middle of the week too. I'm supposed to be doing Aural HW now, but realised that I didn't write down this week HW! Don't know what we're supposed to do, and at this time, there's hardly anybody to ask. Of the 3 people I asked, only 1 replied and he doesn't know, ha, so not very useful. Must remember to always write down my HW!

I want to thank God for safely bringing me through the last few days, and that despite being on the verge of having migraine outburst again, I survived! really thank God! And what's more, I didn't have to go for NAFA orchestra prac last night because they weren't rehearsing 1 piece im playing, so could go home earlier, and even better, with Dot, and Hui'en to the bus stop.

2:00am, WOO.. ITS RAINING!! =) shiok. I should sleep soon, don't want to be late for school tomorrow.

Sunday 2 October 2005
thank God that although I stayed up really late

[wow blogger's pretty good! internet browser just had prob and had to end program again, but blogger managed to save what I'd typed half way and recover the post! great! THANK GOD! =)]

As I was saying, Thank God that although I stayed up really late, doing stuff, I think was it History horn presentation? then doing the photos for the black paper for Marie and family, and only slept around 4am, I woke up around 8am when mum called me! Had time to shower and rushed to redo and reprint the photos that turned out farnie on Hui's computer as her powerpoint was an older version. Thank God for that! and that I finally finished the black paper and passed it to XiaoWan at the end of Mus'art prac.
Thank God very very much that I stayed awake during the sermon! all of it! =D managed to copy notes and learn and remember some stuff. Missed the last bit of the conclusion as I was listening and it was flashed quickly, but am still very happy about being able to stay awake and concentrate enough to listen, learn and understand! =) Thank God.
这个星期的证道是：“洪水的审判”
讲员：洪牧师

引言：

最近发生的灾难：
> 海啸 tsunami
> 飓风 typhoon (Katrina)
> 新奥尔良水灾 (New Orleans)

信息:

洪水： > 不是一般的水灾
> 带来很大的影响
> 旧的时代的结束
what happened in 挪亚 aka Noah's time: because of 创世记 Genesis 6:5, --> result in 创 Gen 6:7
拯救： > 彼得后书 2Peter 6：5
- the righteous (Noah) saved
- God retained the good (Noah) so that news/knowledge about God can be spread
again.
> 神的预备：希伯来书 Hebrews 11:7
- 七对, seven pairs of, 洁净的畜类 --> 可用来献祭
- 七对不洁净的畜类 --> shows that God is merciful, still saves all, everything.
恩典：神为什么单单救了挪亚？
Because:
> 创 Gen 6:8-9 --> 他是个义人
> 创 Gen 7:5 --> 他有信心和 obedience
- 建方舟不容易，但是挪亚还是听从，去行。
> 他传讲神的道

Evidence of Noah's history in Chinese language: 船 character is made up of = 舟 aka boat + 八 aka eight + 口 mouth, representing people.[to find out more about Chinese language's relation to Biblical history, see previous post on Ancient Chinese Language Related to Bible]

总结：

> 邪恶时代 . . . .

That's all I managed to jot down. There's 3 points in the conclusion, didn't quite catch because he went quite fast. Its about how our present times are evil, that we should beware, the end times are near, shown by all the prophecies of catastrophies and natural disasters and other evil deeds happening in our time, about God and floods/water's connection.
Got me thinking again about how many people there are who haven't been saved. sigh. 加油! God please help us who call ourselves Christians to grow in You each day, in Faith and maturity, spiritually, that others may see from our actions and words that You are truly God and that they will believe in You too.

Just wanna thank God so much for keeping me safe and always being there for me, in times of difficulties and through my joys. =) Thank God that I survived being the only horn player at Mus'art today(sunday). Thank God that I got to prac at night.

Thank God that PS on Monday 3 October 2005 was ok. I'm going to finish this second course of scales, all on F horn, meaning I'll have to go on to the 3rd course of it which is everything, all the semiquavers at crotchet=120! ah! very fasT! God please help me. At least by the end of the coming 3rd course my tongueing, accuracy, finger-tongue-lips coordination, and technique in this area should be much better! ha. God please please help me. THANKS! =)
Also thank God that I managed to play ok for band, and finally turned up for my own History tutorial timeslot! was still late, very late, reached 10:40am, but thank God that the bus came just after I reached the bus stop and it was fast! took only 20mins to reach school =) Thank God indeed! =)

There's just so much that happens within a day that I can't possibly say thank You enough times. Thank God for that =)

Today the most prominent things that I wanna thank for are that:

Didn't miss much of Harmony although I was late as Mr Yap was giving out our test papers! AND I PASSED!! 50/100! TOTALLY FORTUNATE! got exactly 15/30 for part A and 35/70 for part B! How fortunate is that?!?!?! Really a miracle!!=) THANK GOD!! HOORAY!! haha.. =p
Had a very filling lunch, brought lots of food today =p, and most importantly, I've started a new commitment, to read through the whole of the Bible. Will read a chapter or two each day. Started during lunch, read while eating at the staircase beside the cargo lift. And the best thing is that I'm reading from my bilingual Bible! =D
Thank God that I cleared my file and organised some History and Harmony stuff today. I'm sorry that I complained so much about my files being too thin and watever else and complaining about having no file to use for portfolio submission. Should have prayed instead. Will remember more! God please help me to always be grateful and not complain so much. Thanks! =)
Thank God that I praced my F# min scale today, and Kopprasch etude no.16! Was very disappointed with my horrible tongueing and tongue-finger coordination at first, but was better after the last break. Really thank God for helping me keep from getting overly looking down on myself and feeling horrible again. Thank God that I got to chat with Alan instead =)

Thank God for helping me see more joy in everyday life, and to learn to look more on the bright side rather than wallow in the negative and sad things that happen, and for giving me peace within myself.

God today something bad happened. There was a fight between 2 guys outside the vegetarian restaurant around late afternoon-evening time. 2 of my friends were there and were unfortunately involved. From what I heard, one was splattered with blood from the stab victim, and the other's cup of hot drink was used forcefully on the stabber. Heard the scene was really messy with blood and all, and that the stab victim was across the street sitting outside mega foodcourt shaking and dripping with blood. Must have been horribly gruesome. Such horrible things keep appearing in the news on tv and papers, and now this one has hit so close to home. God, certainly 世界末日要到了，求祢帮助我们在这些日子里能够坚强，勇敢，不要因世界的丑事而灰心，乃要继续传扬祢的福音，更加警跟这祢，阅读和听从祢的话语。So many things to be careful of! Please help us God! for we are weak and need You. Musn't give up!

ok must go to sleep now. 3:22am. SLEEP! I'm sorry that I can't do my Aural hw because I don't know what we're supposed to do. I promise that I'll be more attentive in the future and always write down and remember to do.

To those who are reading this:
Take care and God bless you always =)

thank God for everything! im happy =D

2005-10-02T15:53:00.000+08:00

Just happy. =D =D =D
Yesterday and today have been happy days with happy things happening. =)

Yesterday (30 September 2005 Friday) I wanted to blog, but blogger was down for very long, more than the 1 hour its notice for maintenance said, so I'm writing for both yesterday and today now.

Firstly, I'm very happy today! =) haha. Came back from tonight's Elijah concert with dad, enjoyed it! was great! =) ahhh... it was very enjoyable in many ways, haha. Of course there were the usual less-likeable-audience, but there were other happy things that happened, apart from the music, so I still enjoyed it very much =p Oh and dad got to meet Jamie at last! haha. and Jamie got to meet dad. keke.

hmm.. my friend just went offline, its been awhile already, and my friend often says something, that makes me unsure what to think. The thing is, I have a very good imagination, haha, but then again, it could be just nothing. Oh well. Well, what I CAN do, is to keep praying and hopefully God will, I mean of cos He will, show us all His way someday, that we'll come to understand, at least part of it, that we may all be able to live life more easily, as in mentally, knowing that truly God is God. =) I mean I know already that God is God, but we're all weak, including me, and constantly need reminders, so thank God for always reminding us. =)

ok back to yesterday, friday. Well, I got to go back to ATSB yesterday afternoon, but even that, such a happy chance, isn't the best part of friday. The best part was really Timothy cell group at night, at XinLiang's place. It was really quite a long session, we did alot of sharing, and I think YunYuan did a great job of leading the session. Thank God for her and JieYing's efforts to get everything in order, the powerpoint presentation and everything. Enjoyed it very much, needed it very much too. Was also quite a realisation session for me too. Firstly that, hey I've really wronged these guys(& girls, not all, just 1 or 2), they do really have many struggles with their spiritual lives, not that they don't really care. That what I've seen of them from the outside isn't really what's happening on the inside. There's more ways than one to use the phrase "don't judge a book by its cover", and well, in this case, its that the inside is really much better than the cover., something I was very glad to find out. Secondly, and even more impactfully to me, that I've been blinding myself the whole time, being stubborn and all, telling myself that I totally can't click with these guys, looking only at the superficial stuff like my interests in music and theirs of other things. The truth is that we're all connected together because we're all part of one big family, brothers and sisters in Christ, and that is the most important link between all of us, yet I had been so blind and stubborn as to not see that. Thank God very very much for last night's cell group, was very important to me and I really wanna thank God for planning everything, that PLCMC Orch prac was cancelled so I could go for cell group. That because 提摩太 was on friday so I could go for the Elijah concert today in peace without the worry of having missed 提摩太.
Most of friday, day time, can be summed up in what I wrote during cell group. (we were each given a piece of blank A4 white paper to write how we were feeling today, as in on friday) Here's what I wrote:
Hello! I am feeling happy today, because I had the chance to go back to Ai Tong Band and help out. First thing today, I heard my alarm and woke up!! =) Miracle! Since today's PLCMC Orch prac was cancelled, I can come for 提摩太 today, and can go for Elijah concert tomorrow night in peace! Thank God that I didn't get too wet from e rain today, and it wasn't raining around school. No Orchestration & Composition lectures today because my teacher is having reservice, very free today, could prac during e usual lecture time.

That was my friday, oh and thank God for this paper that I've just remembered another very important thing that happened on friday, I heard my alarm and WOKE UP!! Truly a MIRACLE! =) THANK GOD! =) Hope this is the start to being more punctual in the mornings, for school especially, and church and everything else. Also, on the way home from 提摩太, was on the same bus as LingFeng and AiJia, so got to chat with them while waiting for the bus and during the bus ride. Wasn't long, but I'm glad it happened, feel more with the 提摩太 people already. I really ostracise myself too much.

ok now to today, wait one more thing first, last night's quiet time.
Friday's entry in Daily Bread was titled "A Great Mystery". Its about the mystery of what becomes of us, where we go to, after our temporary life on Earth is over, after our bodies die. The verse is from 路加福音 Luke 16:19-31, about the parable of the rich man and the beggar Lazarus. It got me thinking again about people around us who have yet to know God and accept Jesus as their Saviour, what horrible Hell is installed for them if they do not accept Jesus, of the many countless people who are dying each day, each second. Oh and especially during Family Worship before that, I was reminded of how many people still arn't saved, especially those around me, us, and how much more Christian work we have to do. How very important it is that we read God's Word each day, learn to be more like Jesus, that we may show others about our God, because only then can they get to know Him, its OUR responsibility and our part in this quest. Of course the final leap of faith and all is by God's grace, as in that He had already saved us and forgiven us by His wonderful Grace, and that we are already saved by this wonderful Grace of His, but we've still gotta each accept Him personally. And there's something that we've gotta do, to let others know about this Good News. One of the paragraphs in the Daily Bread entry was: "Those of us who have watched in sadness as someone close to us had died may wonder about their new existence. Our hearts ache to know what they are doing or where they are." Then comes the crucial part, "If they had trusted Jesus Christ as Savior, we know that they are in heaven, But for now, a veil separates us from our beloved ones and we cannot see behind it."somebody just talked to me! O_O =D 1:52am Even though we are temporarily separated from our beloved ones, who had trusted Jesus Christ as Savior, for now as we do not know what its really like because we haven't been there, we know that they are safe and all, but what about those who hadn't trusted in Him, or worse, not even gotten the chance to hear about Him. HORRIBLE. argh. God please help us all. Its like talking to myself, writing here. Its quite gruelling to be drumming all this into my own brain. Argh, all I wanna say, is that I really wanna do something to help people, I'm trying, but I feel that I want to do more, that there's so much more that I ought to do, for example simply be one time/early for school. That bit's getting better now, more punctual than in the past, but still lotsa room for improvement, and my History HW is like totally behind. Must buck up! Taking a break from Mus'art prac tml, sunday, gonna go to school after 阳光合唱团 to prac and do work. Asked Tim about it and he said it was alright not to go for Mus'art prac, as in that we've gotta weigh our priorities, which really is true, and I haven't missed any pracs so far except for when, erm can't really remember, but think I did miss, that time had something from school at the same time as Mus'art prac, can't remember at the moment. I'm trying to be a living example, God please help me. There have been many times when my friends asked me questions about Christianity, spiritual stuff and all, I've tried to answer them, but I worry that I'd given them wrong information or the wrong idea because I could not express myself well enough with words, or that I had misunderstood what I had learnt and was telling them the wrong things. Please teach me to be wise and discerning. Thank God for always being there for me, giving me friends to help me in time of spiritual need, like Dot and Weifu. Right now, 2:08am, I'm talking to another friend, and my friend's telling me about a conversation that occured earlier between my friend and somebody else, a non-believer from what I gather. God please help me to help my friend, teach me to have a listening ear, to show others Your Love, comfort them and share Your wisdom with them.

ok I shall stop blogging here today. Concentrate on my conversation with my friend, then gotta go shower and sleep. Its early sunday morning already. And thank God very much for giving me the chance to continue playing in church's main service during 进殿. For providing me with this reminder to wake up early for church. =) THANK GOD! for giving me this chance to serve in my own church with music and my horn! =) the things that You have given to me, I am now able to give back. =) and I MUST prac the pieces that 洪传道 assigned for this week.
2:16am

To those who are reading this:
Take care and God bless you always =)

2:20am ok I've come back to add something about today. Had lunch at home, went to ICA to collect my new passport, then went to sit in as observer for CNL's rehearsal. Fortunately met Colin outside the building, across the road from it actually, so didn't get lost finding the place. He asked me to go, saying that he really felt that it would be of help or some inspiration to me spiritually. Of course, I learnt more stuff about music and different way of bringing across what I wanna say, as from a teacher to student point, Ralph Hultgren's really good. Thank God. And another thing, more impactful, that I realised, was that somehow, while in the room where their rehearsal was held at, I could somehow feel this sense of clearness, its like you don't feel cramped or suffocated. As in, it wasn't a physical surrounding thing, more of something inside. And come to think of it, normally I'd feel very paranoid, or at least somewhat paranoid or my usual phobia acting up when I'm left alone in a unfamiliar place where people all know each other, but I didn't feel paranoid today, and it didn't make any difference that I knew some of the people there because of Mus'art, because normally I'd still feel paranoid and scared sitting alone. I'm not really sure how that was, but it certainly was something different, a spiritual thing like Colin said perhaps? But that got me interested in CNL. Colin did ask me to join them during their next concert season, I don't know if I can cos it starts in Dec to March, and I've got commitment to other bands/groups already, PLCMC Orch and Mus'art, and lots of work to do n prac. Whatever it is, God will make a way. And also, I do not want to offend my other friend who had some unhappy experiences there. God please show me Your way. Lastly, the CNL environment just felt different from Mus'art, I don't mean physically as in the prac place etc, but the inner feeling when you're there, spiritual? calmer? Its something new to me, but im interested. A new place. Thank God for this afternoon's experience, and that I got to prac abit in school after that. =)

God please help me, thank You.

2005-09-30T16:12:00.000+08:00

You know, right now I'm feeling so helpless again. Quite. Like that something that's digging into me, that is searching for something. Don't know how to put it into words, but its that digging feeling inside again. I wish my friends could read this that somehow they could help me in my spiritual life. Everybody's so busy nowadays. Thank God for all the time that we still have, especially the meals I've been having with Dot, Shu, Nat, Hui'en, Ryan, etc these couple of days.

Most importantly, I want to thank God for having helped me over one big hurdle in school. I've played for brass platform and it was ok!! =) The few days before that were very not ok, particularly health-wise. But through it all, God was always there for me and giving me constant reminders. Thank God indeed for music and songs, another way of reminder.

This particular song has been accompanying me these few days, and its really really meaningful. Sang it during Praise and Worship on Sunday's service(25 September 2005). Really thank God for everything. =)

上帝的儿女何等有福

在压力中，仍能平静
在忙碌中，仍能悠闲
在失败中，仍能欢笑
在逼迫中，仍能屹立
上帝的儿女何等有福

有福，有福
上帝的儿女何等有福
有福，有福
上帝的儿女何等有福

在绝望中，仍有盼望
在冷漠中，仍有关怀
在困境中，仍有出路
在死亡中，仍有生命
上帝的儿女何等有福

有福，有福
上帝的儿女何等有福
有福，有福
上帝的儿女何等有福

Another reason why I really hope my friends can read this is that, somehow I just constantly feel this urge to talk about our spiritual life, stuff from the Bible, etc. Also, my interest in like Christian events around Singapore have grown. As in like, the Mighty Man 2 camp Hui told me of on sunday, the 得胜之歌 at QTMC that Yibin told me about, the Bible study class that he also told me about, FOP earlier on, etc. including performances of biblical related works, eg Handel's Messiah on dvd and more recently, Mendelssohn's Elijah this coming saturday. So far I've told some people, Dot, Shu, Tejay n Hui etc bout the Bible study class, but they're all either occupied with other cell group or bible study activities of their own already, or busy with work/school etc. There hasn't been anybody I can really talk with about all this. Or perhaps its just that I want to talk with certain persons. Foolish thoughts. But it is true that so far, I've only had the chance to mention to them about the events/things, or at most say a bit more about it, but that's all. Otherwise if we are talking, its usually about school, work(homework), music, people in school, etc. Yeah there are times when we mention about spiritual life and all, but not much when we're together. What I normally read of, now that is, is from Shu's blog. Thank God for that though. =) Its really a new reminder, new lesson learnt, each time I visit her blog. =) God please help her in her spiritual life, that she should always be steadfast, and help her in her weaknesses, show Yourself whole through our weaknesses, that others may come to believe in You too, and experience Your great Love. =)

Just took out my Bible 'cause wanna write about Sunday's sermon, and saw the green slipper handphone chain that Dot gave me for my birthday. I've attached it to the zip on my Bible case, and the "R" that came with it is on my handphone. The green slipper is a reminder of Jesus's footsteps, one that brings eternal life(represented by green), to everybody, and that I should, and want to, and must always remember to follow in His footsteps. =) Only then can I live life to the fullest, by seeking God each day, which reminds me of the song 每一日, Day by Day. Something that I should always keep close to heart, an inspiration for my aspiration. The "R" on my handphone is supposed to be my name, Ruth, it not only reminds me of the Biblical character Ruth who was very loyal and faithful to Naomi and God, that I should learn from her loyalty and faith, also that "R" is for "Redeemer", that my Redeemer lives! =) I always try to make a connection between the physical and material things that I have, with God's word or characteristics and promises, making reminders out of my things, surrounding myself with God. In a world like ours today, we need to arm ourselves with His Word, something that I learnt more of from the Bible study class last tuesday, the last of the Colossians course. Must ask Cecilia for the notes. That's what God wants us to do right? As in to live in His Word each day, striving to follow Him and to be closer to Him. Especially since I know that I'm weak and need constant reminder and help.

Ok, here's what I wanna share about sunday's sermon.
It was by Dr Rev Clarence Lim, 林金成牧师。主题：It Only Takes A Spark.
This sermon was special, well first and foremost, because it was delivered in English with Jenny as Chinese translater. I guess we were all pretty surprised, especially since he was quite an old pastor, so we probably thought he'd be very Chinese-ish. Anyway, the main point is that the impact of the sermon was still there.

Verses used are:
约翰福音 1 章 40－45 节, (John 1:40-45)
and
罗马书 10 章 11－15 节 (Romans 10:11-15)
He highlighted and quoted many other verses during the sermon.

罗 10:14－15 ，告诉我们为什么要传福音
Romans 10:11-15 tells us why we should spread the Gospel
Only when we tell others, share, that others can know about Christ, Saviour.
eg. > 约 John 1:41 - Andrew told his brother Simon
> 约 John 1:45 - Philip told Nathaniel
Also, at 马可福音 Mark 6:7, Jesus sent out His 12 disciples, 门徒.
Then there's "Where?" 在哪里传福音？

ok honestly, I think my drowsiness must have gotten the better of me, and Rev Lim was going quite fast, so was busy flipping the Bible, listening and reading what was on the powerpoint slide, more than writing down notes.

But I believe that as to "Where?", it should be everywhere, whenever we get the chance to. For truly, out God is a great God, the Only God, and we've experienced his great Love, and like the song It Only Takes A Spark says: that's how it is with God's Love, once you've experienced it, you'll want to share with everyone, you'll want to pass it on.

It will really become something that you voluntarily want to do, something that you feel that you HAVE to do, the URGE to do. That's how I feel now. The sermon was a really loud reminder to me about the countless others out there who have yet to know about Jesus and be saved, especially those people that I know, including close friends.

God please help that they will get to know you soon and that they too will be saved. Please use me as Your tool, Your servant, for your plans. Please teach me to be willing of heart, and teachable, to learn all that You have install for me.

I believe that sharing with people about Jesus and God's great Love, isn't just going around talking about the Gospel or about Jesus and God. Its about showing with actions. This reminds me of the Daily Bread entry for 8 September 2005, titled "A Helping Hand". The verse is from 路加福音 Luke 5：17－26. It is the story of Jesus healing the paralysed man, 治好瘫子. Briefly, it is about a paralysed man whose 4 friends heard about Jesus and His miracles, and that He was nearby, so they carried their paralysed friend on a mat all the way to the house where Jesus was staying at. Upon reaching, they found the house to be overcrowded with people and that they could not enter through the door. Nevertheless determined to help their friend, they carried him onto the roof, and removed the tiles on the roof, creating a hole big enough to lower their friend down to Jesus, and Jesus cured the paralysed man. This friend who was paralysed, was given the chance to know Jesus through the loving actions of his friends. From this, he believed and was saved, both his soul and body, and went home glorifying God.
The Daily Bread entry's story itself is about how a college student who was really down in life at that time, was helped by a Christian friend time and again. Eventually she asked her Christian friend why they did all this for her, and her Christian friend was able to tell her about the love of Jesus, thus sharing the Gospel.
The verse quoted was:
那将要灰心，离弃全能者，不敬畏神的人，他的朋友，当以慈爱待他。
To him who is afflicted, kindness should be shown by his friend.
- 约伯记 Job 6:14
The Chinese version says to show kindness to those who are spiritually in need of help, I believe that we should help whoever may be in any kind of need, as long as it is within our means, even if it means sacrificing a little time or comfort, and it is righteous and not something indecent or unlawful in God's eyes. And even if we cannot physically do anything to help, we should always pray for them, and at the very least offer a warm smile or hello when we do meet them, that they should know that they are not forgotten.
[Not long ago a friend shared with me about how he hadn't actually shared/spoke about the Gospel since a certain chance to do so many weeks ago. Well, just wanna tell him that I feel that its not just about the actual telling of the Gospel, but of showing through our daily actions and lives love for others, His love, then we'll eventually get the chance to share with them about the Gospel itself, through God's own perfect planning.]
It is difficult, if not impossible to like everybody that we meet, everybody knows that, but what we can do, is to try to still be nice and kind towards people no matter what differences we have against them. This is what I think, 'cause Jesus certainly didn't turn on the people who were mean to Him and harmed Him, especially people that others felt were unlovable, and I guess He must have disliked having all those horrible stuff done to Him, yet He loved the people, every one of us, and sacrificed Himself willingly, and was not unkind to them. God was with Him all the way.

God please help me, because sometimes I say things, like now, about what I've read or learnt fromYour Word, but I am not always fully sure if I'm saying them right. I most certainly do not want to mislead anybody, yet I am fully aware now, after Cecilia's Bible study class, that the devil is always out to harm us, and he can jolly well make us doubt ourselves. Thank God for Weifu reminding me about that. God please help me. You said that should we have any questions or doubts about life or anything, always refer to the Bible for answers, they're all there. Yes they are all there, of course! but sometimes I read and do not fully understand. Please help me and enlighten me. I guess this is where fellowship with others and Bible study together is needed right? God please help me. Thank You for leading me to where I am now, please continue to help me, and renew my faith in You each day, that my faith in You should grow stronger each day, that I may know you more each day, like the lyrics of Day by Day, that I should seek You more clearly, love You more dearly, and follow You more nearly. Please help me to never be proud. Never is a difficult word to use, because I am weak, but with You, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! 我靠着那加给我力量的，凡事都能作！-腓立比书 4 章 13 节 (Philippians 4:13) He will help me to do wrong less, and right more! =)

ok it is getting really late, aka early in the morning, 3:08am currently. I should be more obedient to my parents and sleep earlier, so I really had better go to sleep now. Dad's already come out just now. Don't want to have ma or pa having to come out again.

Oh and thank God very much that I've finished most of my harmony hw for today! hehe! only have 1 question left! =) didn't manage to hand in today's CW before Ms Karen left school though, hopefully won't have to deduct too many marks when handed in next lesson. sigh. but thank God anyway for helping me finish my work! =) And thank God for giving me the chance to talk with Renee today, and the chance to attend the open rehearsal for Elijah at Esplanade =)

To whoever's reading this:
take care and God bless you always =)

3:16am

just thank God...

2005-09-25T16:47:00.000+08:00

Well, dunno what to put for my title, so really just thank God. =)
24 September 2005 Saturday

Thank God that although I had a headache after waking up around lunch time, I had a very restful day, 'cause I went back to napping after eating 3/4 of my lunch and 2panadol pills. I don't normally eat panadol 'cause it seems useless on me, but mum said it could help so I just tried. I'm still uncertain about its effectiveness on me, but the fact remains that I was better by dinner time, and grabbed an apple and rushed off to Esplanade for the Mahler 6 concert.
Thank God that although I initially thought that I had gotten onto a "black cab" becuase the driver didn't seem to know how to go to CTE from Thomson, and didn't have the usual taxi driver's name and details put up on the windscreen, it turned out to be ok. The driver uncle got worried when we reached Novena and I called dad to ask directions and advice, offering to give me a free ride for the trouble. But after chatting with him more further on and hearing his story, and asking him to show me his lisence which he did in the end, I realised that he really was clean, just a new driver who didn't know the roads that well and that his cab didn't have the slot for the driver ID put up on the windscreen yet. Paid the full amount of the cab fare, couldn't bare to take a free ride after all the trouble and worry I'd caused.
Thank God that I safely got to Esplanade with 5mins to spare, wasn't late, and saw many others that I knew sitting on the same level as me. Including school people, a couple of Mus'art people and other friends, including those I was guessing would turn up. Saw Akari too! Wasn't sure if it was her at first 'cause the hall lights were dimmed by the time she entered, but met her with Yibin after the concert at the Concourse. So happy to see her! =) She looked kind of tired, hope she's ok, God please take care of her and bless her. Oh yeah, she's going back to Japan on monday, maybe can send her off? haha dunno. =p
Thank God for all the people that I saw and met, and that I didn't get paranoid. was bit worried bout my e effect of my hair on ppl at first, but turned out ok, still communicatable with everybody =) THANK GOD! and also thank God for comforting me on my way home, when i was stone/stunned stiff when i knew i had to go home, n got stiffly onto e bus, when everyone else, including everybody, was going out elsewhere after e concert.

This is today's entry from Daily Bread, was reading it on the way home, and more, up til verse 64.
决定顺从耶和华的律法
25 我的性命几乎归于尘土，求祢照祢的话将我救活。
26 我述说我所行的，祢应允了我；求祢将祢的律例教训我。
27 求你使我明白祢的训词，我就思想祢的奇事。
28 我的心因愁苦而消化，求祢照祢的话使我坚立。
29 求祢使我离开奸诈的道，开恩将祢的律法赐给我。
30 我拣选了忠信的道，将祢的典章摆在我面前。
31 我持守祢的法度；耶和华啊，求祢不要叫我羞愧。
32 祢开广我心的时候，我就往祢命令的道上直奔。
求主赐悟性
33 耶和华啊，求祢将祢的律例指教我，我必遵守到底。
34 求祢赐我悟性，我便遵守祢的律法，且要一心遵守。
35 求祢叫我遵行祢的命令因为这是我所喜悦的。
36 求祢使我的心，趋向祢的法度，不趋向非义之财。
37 求祢叫我转眼不看虚假，又叫我在祢的道中生活。
38 祢向敬畏祢的人所应许的话，求祢向仆人坚定。
39 求祢使我所怕的羞辱远离我，因祢的典章本为美。
40 我羡慕祢的训词，求祢使我在祢的公义上生活。
－诗篇 119 篇 25-40节
Thank God for the comfort and reminder.

Thank God that I had the chance to talk with some friends online after getting home.
Thank God for my dinner at home, that I could eat without much loss of appetite, which happened during lunch.
Just thank God for everything that's happened. Can't say everything here, too much I guess, but yeah, Thank GOD! =) I'm happy. Indeed everything that He plans for our life, has its own reason, and is all in His time. Just gotta learn and always remember to be patient! =) Faith Hope and Love! =)

Thank God for renewing my Faith in You.

Thank God for giving me Hope whenever I'm sad or down or need help.

Thank God for always Loving me and being there for me.

Going to sleep now. 2.10am

To those who are reading this,
Take care and God bless you always! =)

21sept, 22sept, 23sept.

2005-09-24T19:00:00.000+08:00

Ah its friday at last!! Thank God for bringing me through this week. sigh. at least the weekdays are over.

21 September 2005 Wednesday

Thank God for bringing me through the day.
Thank God for getting me to school safely, and the bus was fast today. Was late for Aural at 10am, reached like 20mins late I think.
Thank God for reminding me to spend more time with my friends. Had lunch with Dot, Nat, Shufeng, Angel, Hui'en, Yifang, Sebas, Ryan, Desmond and Daniel Kiang at the laksa place near OG. Ate my own bread with sausages and bought hot teh to drink. Didn't talk that much myself, something that's becoming habitual of me nowadays when with a group of friends, mostly sat and listened and added a few comments or asked a few questions here and there. Dunno, think I've been solitude-ing too much, need to spend more time with my friends. At least with familiar people I didn't feel paranoid, just nothing much to say. I think I was becoming a workaholic. Hope I stop being one. Actually more slack now compared to last year, academic year.
Wow, really thank God that for once, I didn't fall asleep during Platform! haha! Its really the first time for me, in a very long time at any rate. That just goes to show how tired I've been, that the very moment I get to sit down and am in a relaxed position, I start falling asleep. Not that I wasn't tired today, just that, for some reason, I could stay awake and listen to the music and actually process some of it! Something is happening, hope its good., sure seems good. =) THANK GOD!

I can't really remember that much now, because its been a few days already. Was really tired and doing work late at night that's why didn't blog. This will probably be the regularity of my blogging from now onwards, every other day or so.

Thank God that the rest of the day was ok. Praced after Sightsinging again, blahblahblah.
Oh and I finally collected the rest of the money that S owed me, and me to mummy. Thank God very much that that's one thing settled! =)
Thank God for the evening spent with Shufeng and Dot shopping for Nat's present! Spent quite some time walking around and talking a little. I think I've started sharing abit myself with Shufeng, as in about my own self. Told her about the S oweing thing while we were in the com lab waiting for Dot's reply about meeting. Talked again on the way back bout the strauss concerto and me being stressed. Well was not bad. We were really quite stuck together while in access course, being the only 2 girl wind players, then 'cause of incidents in year1, drifted apart. I hope that we can really become friends. As in closer. God please take care of her and help and bless her always, that whatever happens is according to Your will.
Thank God that I could prac again later at night from around 9-11+pm. The big sized security uncle was on duty, he came knocking on my door when I was packing. Thank God that the uncle only came after I had finished pracing for the day.
Thank God for bringing me safely home. Waited quite awhile for the bus and got home after 12am I think? ah was still home safely lah.

22 September 2005 Thursday

Thank God that although I was very tired, He gave me the strength to finish my composition homework, a Minimalist piece. Result was "Of Sevens". Finished very late, 3am+, including printing that, Alan's piece, and Yunqi's viola part.
Thank God that although I woke up late, very late, missed warming up before Harmony tutorial and was so late for class that there was only 20-15mins left, I had time to do some warmup after tut, and my prac with nat before lunch was still ok, went through twice and the Animato part.
Thank God for bringing me safely through the rain to BK for lunch with Dot, Nat, Shufeng, Ryan, Hui'en, Yifang, Daniel K etc, and that I didn't sneeze much or catch and cold from getting wet.
Thank God that Compo tut was ok, as in for my piece. Was fun trying to perform other people's pieces, haha, enjoyed. =p
Thank God too that Brass class didn't go too badly. Fredi gave his usual comments, he was rather strict and cutting today though. Maybe 'cause he wasn't in that good a mood, maybe 'cause end up only 2 people (Luke & me) playing? and actually ended class like 25mins early! And he went out promptly after my turn of playing then comments, without even bothering to get much comments from much people. Well hope we'll all play better during the brass platform rehearsal on monday, and that he will be in a better mood. God please take care of him and bless him always.
Thank God too that at least Lifeng spoke up when asked for comments, and actually mentioned that I had improved since last time, and said that I had brought what I had done in the prac room to the performance. Really needed that to push me on. And she even helped when I asked her stuff afterwards about my performance. Thank GOD! Shall continue to persevere! Must always remember that in all I do, I do it for God, not for man. Not for Fredi or anybody, not even Jamie. But to glorify God, that people will see that His children are hardworking and that all that we have are from Him.

Its a very thin line for performers. Always have to keep that in mind. argh. its so much to think about and understand. Having to perform our best, yet that God loves us no matter what, even if it isn't perfect(duh), that really "its the thought that counts", as in that we are doing it with sincerity. God please help me. =

Couldn't bare to touch the strauss concerto again for the rest of the day.

Thank God that Shufeng called me and I got to have dinner with her and Dot at Bugis Village Food Court, instead of finding somewhere to eat alone 'cause there wasn't much people left. Ate pasta, chicken with mushroom cream, same as Shu. Was good! for $3.80 its really worth it, lots of liao4 and yummy.
Thank God that after dinner and waiting with Shu for her bus, Dot and I got to spend some time, me waiting to get my tix for Mahler 6 and Elijah, and she waiting for me to go buy shoes. In the end, she went to see her shoes first, 'cause my queue was kinda frozen for quite a long while, say 20mins?? haha. But thank God for everything, cos after I finally got my tix and wanted to go meet her, she told me to go back school to prac, which fortunately I did, for some scarlet reasons. haha. So all was well thank God.
Thank God that I got my scales and kopprasch etude 14 better. Again til 9+-11+pm, but bus came shortly after I reached the bus stop so got home before 12! Thank God! mum n hui were still awake loh! haha happy. could talk a little bit.

well I was supposed to update my blog abit, but ended up falling asleep leaning against my bed when going to shower, arh, den only woke up properly 3+am, switched off com and went back to sleep.

23 September 2005 Friday

since I slept so early, should have had alot of sleep right? but no, I still woke up late. very.
Had personal stuff to do so ended up missing going for sports day altogether.

Thank God though, that I felt more rested, and got to have lunch with ma and ai at Sakae Sushi in J8. ok sushi isn't my favourite food, but still glad that I got to spend time with ma and ai, and it was quite filling after all. Thank God for that.
Thank God that I finally went for my haircut after lunch! ma drove me there. arh, but my hair is kinda too short now! Its really cooling now, but hadn't planned it to be THIS short. Wait til I take a photo and upload it here. eee. God I really don't want to complain, but its really sickening when I go out and people keep going on about "why don't you keep long hair?" "so short again?" "*shocked*" "ah boy..." etc.. I'm a GIRL!!!! and its MY hair!!!! I mean there are so many other girls, ladies, females, out there with short hair, even shorter than mine now actually, who can go about perfectly fine without such, may I call it, "harassment". sigh.
no wonder nobody will ever want me lahhhh... i know its not about looks but yah, a girl who looks like a guy?? excuse me??... i'd say that's pretty hard to tahan if i were a guy. esp when this girl with short hair somehow just has the face that looks like a guy. -_-
Well, at least Lifeng said its nice after her initial excited reaction, and said bout how I should like gel my hair or something. O_o dunno. worth a try? BUT ITS JUST LOOKS!!!! dot. I need to keep up a reputation as God's child, be a proper girl, etc, but I'm not really being unproper right???? at least I don't think so. and anyway during the Bible study class on tuesday, Cecilia said that it doesn't matter what others look like, we still love them and accept them in God's family. Well those people who gave less nice comments arn't yet in that family. = / argh. I know that my real closer friends will be nicer 'bout it, but there are many others around, and like what Alan predicted, this is so gonna be the topic of the week. The coming week anyway. (confirmation to my fears)
Whatever it is, God must have his purpose. Please God, show me your way and teach me to be tolerant and patient. Patient. And teach me to love those around me no matter what. I know that I'll never be able to truly love unconditionally like You do, but I'll do the best that I can, I'll try, because "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" -Phil 4:13.
Praced til a little too late, but thank God that I had a cai bao and rou bao for dinner, and managed to finish both just before boarding the bus to PLCMC, and got there before they started proper. I wouldn't say that it was my best day performance wise, but at least I sorta cleared up some funny notes and articulation.
Thank God that after prac, while waiting for dad to come, crapped around with Eugene, at least now I know that they are all ok with me, and that it really was just me and probably some misunderstanding 'bout my practising habits that were the main trench between me and some of the PLCMC orch guys. Thank God that things are much better now, especially since most of the other wind players and people from our age group clique are not here due to As and Os, and NS for 2 guys. Among wind players I've got Bjorn to talk to, and Michelle when she comes. I'm like the oldest few, say the 5th oldest of the people playing/conducting in the orch, not including parents waiting for their children. 4th when Mrs Ilano isn't here.
Thank God that dad let the 3 of us get mushroom cheese pratas for supper! yummy! hui didn't like it that much, but it was still yummy! haha.

God please forgive me for raising my temper with hui for freely airing her opinions about the prata. I should have been nicer and more understanding. sigh.

Thank God for the time to finally blog. Also to see hui and ai's blogs, and to wish a friend happy birthday and chat a little with Edward. Please take care of them all, and bless them always and guide them through their trials in life, that they may come out stronger and wiser, and closer to You. That all of us will.

and its saturday morning already. 5:28am. ARGH.

ok that's all for now.
oh and I realised something, i've had my mind occupied for e last hour or so! no thinking of what i rather not be thinking! yeah! thank God. =)

你要逃避少年的私欲，同那卿心祷告主的人追求公义，信德，仁爱，和平。
－提摩太前书 2：22

after typing this verse, I just realised something, the time of 2:22am/pm that I always see, particularly am, coincides with the chapt and verse of this particular verse! maybe that's why God always lets me see that time. Now that I know this fact, I will always be reminded! =) Thank God!! Amen.

To whoever is reading this, take care and God bless you always. =)

5:43am on saturday 24sept05
the rooster crowed already. haha..

first Bible study class

2005-09-21T18:01:00.000+08:00

Thank God for bringing me through today. It has certainly been stressful in certain ways, but He has always made everything right.

Thank God for having dad wake me up so patiently twice, and then sending me to school because it was on the way as he was going to town.
Thank God that although I reached at 11:40am and was late for class, I did not miss any part of the lecture as Mr Yap came late from talking with Mr Adams. Also, I managed to understand most of the lecture.

oh and there's Harmony project to be done, and I'm group leader, ha. Fortunately its a smaller group this time, 5 people, all girls(all girls in my whole tutorial group actually), hope we'll be able to work well together and that I can do my best as a group leader. God please help me!

Also, at the end of the lecture after Mr Yap talked with us group leaders and I was packing my stuff, he asked if I was ok, then said that Ms Karen said that I still had a few assignments due. That really surprised me, because I remember having done up all necessary HWs n CWs due AND handing them in to her last thursday after Harmony test. Maybe Mr Yap's just misinformed or hasn't been updated. Hope that's the case. Still have to check with Ms Karen first to be sure.

Thank God that I had food for lunch, 2 sausages, 2 slices of wheat bread, an apple and a cup of soupy snack. BUT, I must make sure that I do not eat in the tech room again. esp after the Bible study class tonight, I'm going to make it a point to obey all the rules set before me as much as I possibly can. Thank God that I haven't gotten caught before, I'll make sure that I don't, by not commiting the same offence again.
Thank God that I had the chance to practise with Nat for over an hour, I'd say close to 2 hours in total I think(?).. (WOW!) this afternoon. Thank God for her patience with my being slow and sometimes difficult, and her willingness to help me whenever we practice together. Please help me not to complain so much and to be more understanding of her. I think I must have overpractised as Alan said, or at least overstressed myself this afternoon. Was very shakey by the end of our first session of practice, and even after the close to an hour(?) break and rest, I was still rather shakey when we practised again for the recording. There was improvement at certain parts, definitely, but I think was mentally overtaxed. I'm not so sure about Nat, just know that she MUSt have been tired too. Am really grateful that during the second session planned for just recording once, she willingly urged me to go on and practised the parts in Animato that I had difficulty with, and even recorded the Animato over two more times AND play through the whole 1st movement again. Thank God very much for such a friend and accompanist, I am very fortunate.
Thank God that although I was shaking even worse after practising the Strauss, He gave me the strength to practise my E minor scale.
Thank God for helping me to remember to bring my bilingual Bible and Aural ear-training book with me when I left school.
Thank God for providing me with food for dinner and time to eat. All that shakey-ness must have caused me to lose my appetite, so just bought a vegetable bao.
Thank God that I caught the buses without having to wait too long and reached Hakka Methodist Church early, 7:35pm, so had time to eat the bao and calm down abit and read a little bit of Colossians. Thank God also that I met JM on the bus at Orchard MRT stop, and chatted with him, which also helped to calm me down, especially since he started asking questions related to the Bible and church(though I wasn't sure if he might have been a little sarcastic) after learning that I was going for a Bible study class. Thank God for letting me meet somebody I was familiar with before going to somewhere unfamiliar with not very familiar people. Oh and also thank God for letting me meet Dot downstairs at the main door when I was leaving. Told her about the Bible study class I was going to and shared my worries and fear with her. She encouraged me and reminded me that I was going there for God and not people, so not to be scared.
And thank God that in the end, everything was ok. Yibin came around 7.50+pm, was so glad to see him when he came walking up to the gate. Thank God for helping me stay calm and not acting silly or getting overly paranoid. Got a seat between him and his friend Rosie, who shared her textbook and notes with me, and was introduced to them. Moses, Rosie, and his oboe ex-student Rebecca, a baby christian, just 2 weeks. =) Thank God. Oh and Yibin had actually arranged for Rosie to share her stuff with me, touched that he was so thoughtful as to do that. The people there were warm and friendly, and most importantly, the lesson was WONDERFUL! Was totally flooded with so much of God's word, His meanings, advices, and lots more! Really wowed and looking forward to the start of the next course already! haha.. =D No worries about dozing off during her(Cecilia Perh's) lesson. She was very spirited and eager to share. And with a topic like God's word, the feeling is, well, just indescribable. Even though I was rather urgent for a toilet break halfway through, He helped me to bear through the whole lesson. Rosie said that they usually have a break halfway through, but there wasn't one today, maybe because it was the last lesson on Colossians and she had alot to teach. There really was alot, and she went non-stop, power man! haha.. So glad that I went for the Bible study class. I'm going to tell more people about this! =D
Thank God for giving me the chance to meet some of the other people there, including Yibin's elder brother(don't know his name) and a lady he was with, can't remember her name, something-Jun, and a very warm and friendly lady HuiJun. After that, walked to the bus stop with Yibin, Rebecca, HuiJun, and a couple of other people. Had the chance to chat with Rebecca, glad to meet her. She's from AMK Sec and knowns JieMin from ATSB, Singapore is SO SMALL! haha.. Thank God that 162 came just as we were reaching the bus stop (thank God one that's closer to the church than the one I alighted at earlier), so I said a quick bye and rushed to catch the bus.
Thank God that I reached home early, 1045pm, so got to talk a little with mum and hui again. =p Dad was downstairs when I reached home but he soon went up to do his work, he was quite blur as usual when I said hi to him after he went up, haha..
Thank God very much that I've finished my Aural HW for this week! Wasn't too bad, my results were quite encouraging =D yeah! Must practise aural more and not slack again!

ok its like 1 min to 4am already!! so fast!!!! I must type faster, and start earlier next time. This is precisely why I stopped blogging in the past, because I always took so long and ended up sleeping so late, but this time I've got a different purpose, so God will help me find a way to juggle all my commitments, and I'll make sure that I play my part by being commited and punctual.
Off to bed now! goodnight! =)
To whoever is reading this, take care and God bless you always. =)

sunday 18sept & monday 19sept 05

2005-09-20T17:50:00.000+08:00

Thank God for bringing me through these past two days.

Sunday 18 Sept 2005

thank God for bringing me to church with enough time to set up my horn, warm up, and even tune before the service started.
thank God that mum prepared breakfast of sausages and bread and that I had time to eat my breakfast after playing for the start of first service because there wasn't sunday school.
thank God that although there was no sunday school for my class this week because our teacher was away, and I had forgotten to bring the book I had intended to bring to read, I got time to read abit of Colossians.
thank God for helping me stay awake during sermon, and managed to jot down notes too.
thank God very much that YangGuang theory lesson went more smoothly, and that hopefully I had helped the children to learn something. Please take care of them God, they are really very good and lovable children.
thank God for lunch, that the otah from the nasi lemak wasn't too hot and I didn't eat much of the chilli because it stayed in one corner of the container.
thank God for dad sending me to Mus'art prac.
thank God that Mus'art prac was ok.
thank God for dad fetching me from Mus'art prac because he met a client in clementi, which was nearby.
thank God for the yummy and filling dinner that we packed home.
thank God for having dad fetch me to the bus stop outside as it was along the way, and letting me get to school around 8pm so that I had more time to practise.
thank God for letting me clear my scales and playing my kopprasch no.14 through more fluently.
thank God for mum and dad fetching me home from school, and kindly waiting for me for so long, half an hour. Reached home before 12mn.

I'm sorry:

that I made mum and dad wait for so long, please God, help me to be more obedient and punctual. It isn't nice to make anybody wait.
for all the mean not nice things that I've done and said during the day. Please help me to be kinder to others.
I did not do quiet time because I was doing my history presentation throughout the night and dozed off towards daybreak.

Monday 19th Sept 2005

thank God that although I hardly slept the whole night because I was doing my history presentation, I had enough energy to last me through the day, and only got a headache on my journey home, which improved as I arrived at home.
thank God that I woke up a minute after mum's call at 8.25am. This means that I was actually waken up by her call even though my hp was on silent mode! miracle! =)
thank God for getting me to school safely without getting wet. (it rained in e morning)
thank God that I had time to go through my whole warmup routine before band(which was changed to sectionals).
thank God for helping me to play ok and with more confidence during brass sectionals with Mr Adams. Renee actually said not bad! =) really thank God, and please keep helping me to play better and be humble. =)
thank God that I managed to prac kopprasch 14 up to crotchet=100, though rather messy, it was still there.
thank God that lesson wasn't too bad, got advice and help from Jamie, mostly working on the Strauss after scales. thank God the front part was ok and managed to improve on it.

but kept running away with the rhythm and articulation at the Animato part, God please help me to stay calm and prac hard and be able to my best for brass class on thursday and brass platform next wednesday. And that all that I do, I do for You only and no one else, not to please Fredi or Adams whoever, but because I should always do my best in everything I attempt and be hardworking and dilligent.

I haven't been very diligent with my history homework, the exact opposite in fact. I MUST buck up and get going with all my history homework, deadlines are coming up fast! or even over already. =x

oh and thank God very much that I managed to finish my Harmony test on thursday! AND used all the 6 most important decorations and many others. Hopefully I got them right and will be able to pass. And thank God that I should have gotten most of the keys correct since they are the same with some my classmates who are better in Harmony.
thank God that Mr Adams took my concerto competition form without asking much, and that I still had time to finish my dinner at Kopitiam and reach YMS just on time for the New Music Ensemble concert. And also thanks that Ryan waited for me to finish eating before leaving, as the others had left as it was getting late.
thank God that although I was rather drowsy at first because I was so tired, the continuing pieces were very interesting and I could stay awake. Enjoyed the concert! Good programming and all. Also met Iskandar and got to say hi after the concert. Dear God please bless him and keep him safe.
thank God that I had the chance to come home earlier, and that I was tired and had a little headache, otherwise I would have stayed in school again. By coming home, I got to spend time chatting with mum and hui, and watched/read this presentation/flash thingy about ancient chinese language being related to biblical history. (see it in my first entry today)
thank God that I had the chance to talk with Tejay just now. God please help him and take care of him. Please take care of Angeles too.
thank God for everything that has happened today, and for safely seeing me through another day.

It is late already, 2:48am, shall quickly go do quiet time and go to sleep.

你要靠主常喜乐！=)

Ancient Chinese: Language of God?

2005-09-20T15:04:00.000+08:00

Got this link from an email my mum received from her friend.
Its about how some characters of the Ancient (traditional) Chinese language are related to history according to the Bible, like creation, Adam and Eve, Noah and the Ark etc.
Its really interesting and worth a look at, especially for those interested in the Chinese language.
http://www.wbschool.org/chinesecharacters.htm

new blog

2005-09-18T15:29:00.000+08:00

ok here's my new blog... I've been wanting to keep some sort of journal about the blessings from God in my daily life, and also about my spiritual life, so......

Its dedicated to writing about my TBM: trials, blessings, miracles.. that God puts in my life.
I'll update as often as possible.
Hope to use this to share about God's love through what He has done in my life, and also to keep in touch with friends.
I know I've been spending too much time on school that I've really neglected alot of friends and family, really sorry. Want to change that now. I'm making it a point to come online on weekend-nights to read friends' blogs and chat etc.
Won't write much really personal stuff here, because the internet is a totally unsafe place, and I'm not exactly ready to announce all my private stuff to the whole internet population, still very introverted, so yah.
Also going to try to type as much as possible in proper English so as to maintain and improve my grasp of the language. Will try to use Chinese too when possible, still exploring the Chinese word program on my computer. I love Chinese and don't ever want to lose it, its our roots!

There's church tomorrow morning, don't want to be late again so shall be going to sleep soon.
Honor God, be early. That's what the poster outside the door of the 3rd floor chapel says, I'll remember that and do my best to honor God and not indulge in laziness and sleep gluttony.

To whoever reads this:
Take care and God bless you always! =)

如今常存的有信，有望，有爱；这三样，其中最大的是爱。
－哥林多前书 13 章 13 节 (Corinthians 13:13)